Ability to communicate and find mutual language with people - a skill, no doubt, important and useful. A person who is able to win over others can achieve great success both in the personal and professional spheres.

Unfortunately, not everyone can boast of such a skill. The reasons why a person is not able to be an interesting conversationalist are most often low self-esteem and self-doubt. However, do not give in to panic and put an end to yourself in advance. You can become a good interlocutor, the main thing is the desire to change.

Each person is unique and if one easily becomes the soul of the company and is able to support any conversation, then another need to communicate with other people can cause panic. Why such differences?

First of all, do not forget about the character and temperament. Easy-going and optimistic people treat other people with the same ease. It is natural for them to strike up a conversation with a stranger on the street. They like to be the center of attention, they enjoy talking on almost any topic, thanks to which they can boast of their erudition, because conversation is one of the opportunities to learn something new.

An interesting interlocutor is also most often distinguished by the presence of a subtle sense of humor and charisma. He will not necessarily be a written handsome man, but his bright energy, coupled with an understanding of what is funny and what is not, can conquer the whole team. Funny cases from life, a funny and not vulgar anecdote - and you are full of vivacity and good mood for the whole day.

How to achieve the location of others?

In order to become an interesting interlocutor, you need to be ready to fully open up to other people. You can not arouse the interest of others, being clamped by nature. Modesty and shyness are attractive traits to some extent, but they will not help you become a sought-after conversationalist. Cast aside doubts and open yourself to other people, only then you will be able to win them over.

It is worth remembering that the first impression determines your position in the team. Therefore, it is worth preparing in advance to make the best impression on new acquaintances. Otherwise, there may not be a second chance.

Try not to abstract from others, you risk eventually being left alone. Some believe that it is better not to let unfamiliar people near you, they say, it is safer this way and there is no risk of being disappointed in people. But remember that by putting up boundaries for other people, you are also building yourself up. Undoubtedly, there must be limits and boundaries in communication with other people should also be defined. But if you still decide to learn how to be an interesting conversationalist, then you will have to leave your comfort zone and start with the fight against your shyness.

Tips on how to develop the skills of an interesting interlocutor

Many people who have set themselves the goal of becoming interesting to others begin to study specialized literature from the “how to make the right impression” series. In principle, such literature can be a good help, so do not refuse to study it.

Are you at the very beginning of the journey and doubt the choice of a topic for conversation? Some people are sure that if you don’t know what to talk about, then bring up the topic of the weather. To some extent, this statement is true, but such a topic is difficult to develop and it never causes much interest, well, who would agree to chat for an hour about the level of precipitation somewhere in Uruguay? So the weather is a topic that can serve as a springboard for more detailed communication. Start with the weather and gradually move on to another topic.

Do you want to become an interesting conversationalist? Then remember that there are topics that should never be discussed:

• Health. The topic is very personal and even intimate, you can discuss it only with very close people and only when they themselves want to discuss the problems of their well-being. If we are talking about communicating with colleagues and just acquaintances, then this topic is taboo. No one is ready to discuss where the next pimple popped up or how he copes with bowel problems.
• Policy. The topic is extremely complex and ambiguous. Each person has his own view on a particular political event, especially if it refers to the events of world politics. It is not a fact that your opinions are identical and it is quite possible that your statement may cause a conflict.
• Personal life. You should not climb into the soul of another person with your advice, experience and outlook on life. Accept as an indisputable truth that even if you were asked to act as a third party in the conflict of a couple of lovers, then you should not interfere in any way. Most likely, they will resolve their conflict, but you will definitely remain extreme.

Quarantine in connection with the spread of the coronavirus put a big cross on many goals. If your plans for 2020 did not include a month of staying at home, then you need to find a way to make good use of the time that you have. While you are wondering what to do in order not to waste quarantine and then regret it for a very long time, we suggest that you familiarize yourself with several useful online courses. After all, the quarantine will end, the epidemic will recede, and the knowledge gained will remain with you forever.

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A lot depends on the ability to find a common language with anyone. This includes career advancement, a successful personal life, and big circle friends. But how to become an interesting interlocutor? What to say, about what and when? These questions concern both young people and experienced people. Let's figure out how to improve your communication skills.

You must have met two different types of people. The former can easily join any team, calmly keep up the conversation and even entertain the company, if necessary. The second is difficult to talk to a stranger, it is difficult to select topics for conversation or speak in front of an audience. What is the secret of easy-to-communicate people, how to become an interesting conversationalist?

First of all, you should look at the type of temperament and character. People who go through life easily are much easier to relate to many things. They are interested in many things, and they understand a variety of issues. With such a person it is easy to find a common theme for anyone. However, despite his erudition, such an interlocutor will never emphasize his superiority.

Another distinguishing feature of an interesting interlocutor is a subtle sense of humor. His jokes are able to defuse the situation, but at the same time they are not vulgar or offensive. Funny anecdotes, unusual analogies, and the ability to laugh at oneself make such people even more attractive to talk to.

How to become an interesting person

A versatile personality is always interesting to others. But how to become an interesting person and interlocutor? No matter how hard we try to study the technologies of conversation and do not select interesting topics, without deep study personal qualities it will be useless. First of all, you have to be interesting to yourself. It is necessary not only to study a lot and learn new things, but also to be able to operate with these facts. An interesting person will not, stuttering, remember historical event or a new joke. Train your memory and attention, this will help overcome communication difficulties.

What to read to develop communication skills

In the world, many books, manuals and brochures are published daily for those who want to learn the secrets of positive communication. How not to drown in this sea of ​​information? What to read to become an interesting conversationalist? After all, if you take the first available edition, you can be disappointed.

Choose the literature that has already passed the test of time and has taken its rightful place on the shelves. Classical works of psychologists, theorists and practitioners will be very useful for further development communication skills. You will not only learn the techniques of proper communication, but you will also be able to better understand people.

The Internet provides a wide range of opportunities for self-education. But when choosing a resource to increase knowledge, be careful and critical. Pay attention to who wrote the articles, whether the author has a pedagogical or psychological education. This will allow you to weed out obviously false information.

Periodical publications will also be useful for self-education in the field of communication. Articles in them undergo mandatory editing and are often written in collaboration with professionals. They definitely won't hurt. You can even make yourself a selection of clippings to make it easier to use them.

Basic rules of an interesting interlocutor

Having studied the theory of psychology of communications, you can begin to practice. There are several tricks that will answer the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist:

Forbidden topics of conversation

Not everything and not always worth talking about. If you are thinking about how to become an interesting conversationalist, be sure to study, but never raise these questions:

1. Politics is a very complex and multifaceted topic. Especially international, because a variety of events are constantly taking place in the world. People can hold a variety of points of view, and the categorical statement of one of them will easily lead to unnecessary conflict and tension.
2. Health - this topic is considered intimate. Not everyone is ready to discuss the details of the last visit to the dentist. Moreover, it is considered indecent to publicly talk about your illnesses.
3. Personal life - people do not like to be pestered with intrusive questions. Topics such as marriage, childbirth, divorce, etc., are everyone's personal business. Discussing them is permissible only face to face and only with the closest people.

What to talk about

But then the question arises: what is it permissible to talk about? Lots of topics to talk about:

• Achievements of science, including new technology: phones, cars, etc.
• Fashion, beauty, style - just do not indulge in banal gossip.
• Movies, books, performances and other interesting events.

How to become an interesting conversationalist for a man and a girl

When developing relationships with the opposite sex, communication plays an important role. Often young people are looking for an answer to the question of how to become an interesting conversationalist for a girl. And ladies are interested in the same thing about men. But recent research by psychologists convincingly proves that there are no big gender differences. Just follow all the above recommendations, and you will definitely succeed with the opposite sex.

“I was hungry for fellowship—I wanted to talk to someone. Over time, I began to realize that I needed to do something to counter loneliness. If I continued to be alone in silence, I would simply go crazy. These words belong to a man who spent five years in solitary confinement and was deprived of one of the most important needs human - communication.

Indeed, it is very important to speak! Everyone is so arranged. It is an irreplaceable way of expressing feelings. For example, if you want your spouse to know how important they are to you, you need to talk about your feelings. But for many, communication is not an easy task, a lot of work, which is often avoided.

What obstacles can arise on the way to the art of interesting conversation or communication? How to become an interesting conversationalist?

Talked to himself. An interesting interlocutor, however.
author unknown

Barriers to conversation

1. Shyness

One of the most difficult problems on the way to communication. Shy people shut themselves off from others. Why? Perhaps they were brought up in, in which they did not really communicate with each other, but, on the contrary, separated from others.

2. Self-doubt

Many people may experience years of fear of looking stupid or fear of being caught in a downpour of criticism. Therefore, they find it much easier to avoid talking to others.

3. Inferiority complex

This is the case when a person does not mind talking, but considers himself an "incapable loser", so he prefers to suffer in silence.

There is another side to the coin: many people feel free to communicate, but when another person speaks, they tend to interrupt, thereby depriving their interlocutors of the joy of intimate communication.

How to overcome these difficulties and learn to talk with others interestingly and with warmth?

Listen, be interested, be attentive

If you're at a loss as to what to say, don't despair. In fact, you know a lot more than you think.

And if you often catch yourself thinking that no one wants to listen to you or that you are not interested, analyze how well you know how to listen. You don't have to keep talking to keep a conversation going.

Both interlocutors should speak. In this case, you need to be guided by the principle: "Take care not only of your own needs, but also of the needs of another."

For this:

• take an interest in those around you state of mind. Get into the habit, before talking about yourself or asking for anything, ask about the affairs of the interlocutor, for example: “How are you feeling?” or “Is there anything I can do to help?”;
• pay attention to the facial expressions of the interlocutor - it speaks about the feelings of the other more than his words.

A taciturn interlocutor can lead to despair, a talkative - to a crime.
Don Aminado

But what to do if you are talking to someone who is not strong in conversation?

Still, give the other person the opportunity to express their feelings. To do this, ask tactful questions. Suppose you are talking to an elderly person.

Ask him about how the world or family life has changed since he was young. In addition to learning a lot yourself, you will make your interlocutor happy.

How to become an interesting person and develop charisma

In society, and especially among public figures, there are very often people who do not have a spectacular appearance or high status, and in general, at first glance, you cannot say that such a person can be in demand in a team, have many friends and acquaintances. However, from the first minutes of meeting it becomes clear that this person is incredibly interesting person, which attracts people with its charm. In such cases, it is customary to say that a person is very charismatic.

It is widely believed that charisma cannot be developed as a skill, and that this character trait is given to people by nature. There is a certain amount of truth in this, a predisposition to charismatic behavior allows a person to behave more confidently, naturally and naturally, but this does not mean at all that the unfortunate people deprived of this gift are doomed to vegetate outside the social circle.

In order to take the first step towards becoming, you need to perform one simple action, which, despite its simplicity, is stubbornly ignored by many people. It is about developing a respectful attitude towards ourselves, it is necessary to love yourself, accept all shortcomings and weak sides and then try to focus on the benefits.

In self-love, you should not look for selfish motives, because this is absolutely natural. Loving yourself does not mean exalting yourself above everyone around you, it is necessary to understand that a person who is not able to love himself has no chance of earning the love of another person.

Only by beginning to respect himself, a person becomes open to accepting love from outside.

The next step follows directly from the previous one. Self-respect automatically increases self-esteem, and this is very important for successful interaction with others. It is impossible to become a charismatic person if numerous complexes, fears and other consequences of low self-esteem get in the way. Next to the charismatic and sociable person, others also begin to feel more relaxed, relaxed and at ease.

A closed person, by his behavior, makes others feel uncomfortable, and as a result, they try to stop communication with such a clamped person as soon as possible. There is no need to try to be someone else, because it is impossible to pretend all your life, but you cannot run away from yourself. It is much easier to be yourself, stop being ashamed of your shortcomings, and this is a lot of work, which can only be done with considerable effort.

As you know, any skill develops in the process of training. It is impossible to learn how to cook well, play a musical instrument, understand technology, only on the basis of theoretical knowledge. The same applies to the ability to communicate and win over others. To develop this skill, you need to communicate with different people preferably with strangers. Such training will help to form the ability to quickly navigate the conversation, and the appearance of new acquaintances, and maybe friends, will be a pleasant bonus.

It is much easier for smart and well-read interlocutors to maintain any conversation, therefore, it is more pleasant to communicate with such people. It is necessary to read a lot of literature on a variety of topics, people very subtly feel a well-read person and respect such a person.

Thus, we involuntarily transfer a worthy and fair attitude towards ourselves to the people around us. If the relationship is positive, then the return on interaction will be positive. It is necessary to follow the golden rule and treat people as best as possible in order to get the same in return, then there will be no problems.

Video: How to be an interesting conversationalist in any situation

10 tips on how to become an interesting person and conversationalist

Pay attention to the people who belong to your social circle. Agree that some of your acquaintances attract more attention, they are listened to more, they are sympathized with, while others go unnoticed, even if they make attempts to be in the spotlight.

It is obvious that few people will be pleased with the company of a boring, constant whining, behind-the-scenes person. After all, in the process of communication, the interlocutor wants not only to speak out himself, but also to draw interesting information for himself, to recharge his energy from the partner.

In order for people to like you, you need to be an interesting conversationalist yourself. Following our advice, you will feel that your life is filled with colors, saturated with events, experience is accumulating, the circle of acquaintances is expanding.

1. Become a good conversationalist

• Learn to listen carefully;
• Ask questions to the interlocutor, so you will demonstrate that his story really interests you;
• Express your feelings about what you hear. For example: “I am outraged by his act ...”, “how did you manage to do this ...”, “it’s so wonderful that you succeeded ...”;
• Keep up the conversation interesting facts from life, books, articles;
• No ridicule, over the feelings of the interlocutor;
• Do not teach, do not insist, but advise and recommend.

There will be something to talk about with friends.

3. Have your own hobbies

When you are passionate about something, your eyes burn, you are overwhelmed by emotions, you are full of energy that is transmitted to others.

4. Experiment and share your results and experiences

It will be useful for others, you will be grateful.

5. Stay home

Attend more different events (exhibitions, concerts, lectures, meetings, sports). There you will definitely see something interesting, meet friends, maybe meet someone. You will have many topics to discuss with your friends.

6. Register on social networks

Connect to your friends more people, even if you are not familiar with them, find groups of your like-minded hobbyists.

Post interesting photos on your page, join discussions, express your opinion.

7. Connect with a variety of people

Don't be afraid to meet new people. Know that if you are active, other people are interested in you. They want to listen to you, your opinion and experience are valuable and useful, no doubt.

8. Be confident

Remember that you, with your own characteristics, with your “cockroaches in your head”, are unique, and therefore interesting to others. If all people on earth were the same, we would all die of boredom.

9. Go in for sports

Yes, it is not easy, especially if you have never even done exercises before. But it is not necessary to exhaust yourself with simulators if you don’t like it and can’t afford it. You can start with brisk walking or running.

People who go in for sports are always more self-confident, more energetic.

10. Look after yourself

The first thing that catches your eye is the appearance of a person. Keep track of clothes, shoes, hair, make-up. Try not to be old-fashioned or dress insipidly.

If you don't like today's fashion, you need to learn the rules for choosing a classic wardrobe and follow them.

Remember that by trying to become interesting to others, you will first of all become interesting to yourself. As a result, your self-esteem will increase, you will no longer be visited by sad thoughts, due to the variety of interests and being busy with exciting things, you will have no time to cry, and there is no need to. Life will be filled with colors and meaning.

Conclusion

Remember that no matter how difficult it is for you to communicate with others today, you can always fix it. Don't forget that the best conversation stimuli are friendliness, tact and a good sense of humor.

Develop these qualities in yourself, and it will be much more interesting to communicate with you!

Meet new people. When meeting a new person (no matter where), the key to enjoying the experience is being willing to listen to what the person has to say. This is one way to get a person to open up to you.

• Even if the new acquaintance is your complete opposite, accept these differences and enjoy the new acquaintance.
• Anyone can teach you something new - the more acquaintances and friends you have, the more knowledge you can acquire. Never regard a new person as unworthy of your attention and time.
• Just say “Hi!”, introduce yourself, and ask the person a question or two. As you get to know the person better, your communication will become more informal.

In your city or region, visit places where you have not been before. Keep an eye out for new fun activities where you live; for example, it could be a folk singing competition or a food festival. Visiting a part of a city or area unknown to you is a new adventure that you can invite your friends to.

• If such events knock you out of your usual rut, then this is even for the better. Think of the new and interesting people you might meet while trying to do something that is absolutely not your thing.
• Invite your friends to try something new with you. Tell them it will be fun.

Get out of your comfort zone. Start learning foreign language, take a run on long distance, do something to challenge yourself, and you will surely become a more interesting person. The more knowledge you have and the more active you are, the more experience you will be able to share with other people. Try the following:

Dance, even if you're not good at it. No matter where and how - alone, with a partner or on the dance floor with friends - just dance and enjoy it.

• Pull your hair back, sing a few lines from any song you like, and move your arms and legs to cheer the people around you.
• Encourage people to dance with you. Get your friends who don't like to dance to come on the dance floor with you and show them how much fun it is.

Challenge your fears. If you are afraid of heights, clowns, dogs, or something else, take the time and energy to work on yourself and overcome your fears. You will be surprised at what you are capable of.

• Agree with almost all offers to do something new. If your artist friend or avid hiker suggests you paint something or go camping, be sure to agree, as this is new to you.
• Next time at a party or in a company, find a person who has little in common with you. Be sure to get to know this person to learn something new from him.
• If a host or artist calls for a volunteer during an event, don't be afraid to raise your hand. Sing and dance at the concert of your favorite artist. Wear breathtaking outfits that cheer you up. Sing your favorite song at karaoke, even if you don't have an ear for music. Throw a fun themed party. In a word - have fun!