Inability to accept independent solutions, life with an eye on someone else's opinion, self-doubt and eternal dissatisfaction with others are the main signs of infantilism. For a psychologically immature person, life seems like a big hostile country, but if you follow a systematic approach and follow the advice of psychologists, you can grow up in mind and character. This requires work on yourself and can be hard work. But awareness of one's own psychological immaturity is the first step towards adulthood.

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Signs of psychological immaturity

Experts identify a number of main features by which a person-child can be identified:

• Indecision. Faced with a problem or faced with a choice, a person is unable to make any decision for fear of being responsible. This leads to the next point.
• Irresponsibility. Shifting decisions to others entails the removal of responsibility for the consequences of any significant actions. An attempt to withdraw from the control of one's own destiny.
• Feeling sorry for yourself and blaming others for your troubles. When decisions are made voluntarily or involuntarily for a person, he blames everyone except himself for his problems. The world seems hostile and unfair, and one's own helplessness drains all one's strength. Most often, adult children blame their parents.
• Categorical in judgments and cruelty to those who disagree. The division of the world and events into black and white is typical for teenagers. Adults see nuances and respond flexibly to them. The child has two positions: his and the wrong one. And when a phenomenon is knocked out of the child's picture of the world, a person tries with all his might to resist it.

A Few Essential Elements of Growing Up

There is a list of tips, following which you can balance the psychological and real age.

It is important to understand the moment when psychological immaturity begins to interfere with life. If there is a need to grow up for a guy at 30 years old - this is an objective reality, then for a girl at 21 years old it may turn out to be a simple nitpicking of older people around.

Growing up is a complex complex stage in the development of personality and it is not without difficulties.



How to be interesting for a man - advice from a psychologist

Recognize the existence of a problem

In order to mature psychologically, it is necessary to realize the discrepancy between the age in the passport and in self-awareness.

Overcoming the stage of denial will become more productive if you spend complex analysis own personality. Psychologists advise taking a sheet of paper and dividing it into two columns. In the first one, write down the adult traits of your personality, and in the right one, signs of infantility. Such a visual way will allow you to see your own problems with your own eyes.



Take responsibility for your own life

The most important criterion for an adult man or woman is the ability to make independent and informed decisions throughout life. At the same time, decisions should not be made under the influence of emotions, stress or momentary desire.

To make decisions in an adult way, it is important to weigh the pros and cons, to give up hope for a sudden resolution of the problem without effort from within. Procrastination should be eliminated or minimized.

Procrastination is the psychological tendency to put off making important decisions until later.

Be flexible in relationships

Adults differ from teenagers in finding compromises. Only children are characterized by maximalism in their outlook on life. A psychologically mature person realizes that he lives in a world inhabited by other adults with their own life experiences and views on life.

Finding solutions and building relationships so that they suit everyone is the main secret of a mature relationship. This does not mean bending over and accepting someone else's opinion in order to avoid conflicts. It is important to firmly but gently state your position. In disputes, do not get personal and respect the opinion of the interlocutor.

Caring for the needs of others

The world of the immature personality is egocentric. A teenager strives to achieve all the benefits for himself. The problems and difficulties of those around the infantile personality do not bother. Selfishness is often mistaken for self-love by teenagers.

For internal maturation, you should often break away from caring for your own comfort and pay attention to the needs of loved ones. You should not throw all of yourself on the altar of serving people. It is important to strike a balance between caring for yourself and those around you.

Many modern people think about whether they have reached psychological maturity. So how do you know if you're an adult or if you're still at the level of a teenager? After all, a lot depends on this and, first of all, it depends on how people around you evaluate you and your behavior, what growth prospects exist, etc. Let's try to answer these difficult questions.

What are the criteria for psychological maturity?

Let us first consider the criteria for psychological maturity presented in the works of leading Russian and Western psychologists. According to research by psychologists, these criteria are:

• Responsibility for what is happening when a person does not shift the blame for his mistakes to others.
• Ability to constructively interact with the environment.
• The ability to understand people, to love them.
• Ability to cope with psycho-emotional stress.
• The ability to make rational informed decisions.
• The ability to realize oneself in the world of professional activity.

If a person meets all these criteria, then he is psychologically an adult, but if he shows infantilism, then in his soul he still remains a child. How to overcome this child in yourself and find a new adult? We offer several psychological advice to help answer this question.

Set big goals for yourself

One way to mentally mature is to the need to set for the fulfillment of the goal of an adult: to improve in the world professional excellence, try to achieve more high level, create a family and make every effort to provide for its financial support. But, and most importantly, to understand that a person bears personal independent responsibility for everything in his life. Accepting such responsibility is already half the battle. An adult is always responsible for his actions. Only the child is afraid to take on this feeling.

Only an adult psychologically a person can truly care about the people around him. Help the younger and older, take on responsibilities for which you will then have to answer. The feeling of care is very close to the feeling of responsibility and the feeling of love. In harmony with each other, all this gives rise to a feeling of psychological maturity, allowing you to rise to a new stage of development.

Try on your child in the shower and leave him alone

According to the psychological theory of E. Bern, in every person there lives an adult, a child and a parent. Often people who have suffered some kind of trauma in their childhood remain children in their souls for a long time, unconsciously believing that it is easier for them to live this way. Gradually, the mask of the child simply merges with the image of the person himself. In this case, all the signs of infantilism are obvious: a person is afraid to make independent decisions, afraid of a harsh attitude towards himself, cannot correctly evaluate his actions and avoids responsibility.

In this case, a person experiencing such problems should find harmony between all his "I" and try to pay more attention to an adult person living in his soul.

Fourth: Analyze Your Family History

Often, childishness and childlike behavior is linked to a person's family history. Perhaps his parents were too authoritarian and did not allow him to make independent decisions. In this case, having already become an adult according to the passport, a person cannot become one for real. He lives with an eye and is always afraid of something. Having understood this, it is easier to gain a sense of self-confidence and mature psychologically.

Tip Five: Solve the Problems Life Brings You

Avoiding problems is a characteristic way of behaving a child; solving problems is a way of behaving an adult. Therefore, if you want to mature psychologically, you must learn how to solve the life problems that you face in one way or another. At the same time, such decisions should not be childishly emotional, but thought out and rational in an adult way.

Make your own decision

A sign of an adult is the ability to make independent decisions. Again, these decisions are not made under the pressure of emotions, but under the pressure of iron and relevant arguments for you. A psychologically adult person therefore does not blame others for his troubles, because he knows that everything he does, he does of his own free will.

Tip seven: do not show youthful maximalism, be flexible in making mutual decisions

Maximalism and stubbornness are just the traits of a child who does not yet understand that the world is diverse, so it is necessary to show tolerance and flexibility in behavior and in relation to people around him. Therefore, if you want to grow up psychologically, be tolerant of others and look for them not only for shortcomings, but learn to see their virtues.

Study your motivation

As a rule, a sign of a psychologically adult person is a strong motivation. The leading motives for the behavior of an adult mature person are not to avoid punishment (as in a child), but to create something new, strive for success, create a family and provide for it, etc.

That's why carefully study the motives that drive you. If these motives are still childish, then you need to seriously reconsider them. Otherwise, you will not be able to mature psychologically.

As we can see, in order to psychologically mature, a person must make every effort. But most importantly, he must turn from a child into an adult. After all, by preserving his infantilism, nurturing it, he deprives himself of a new sensation - the sensation that the world is changing, and he is changing along with it. Moreover, you do not need to kill the child in yourself. The feeling of childishness can be kept in your soul, but you must not allow it to dominate you.

The article paid a lot of attention to how to cope with problems for women and what to do to become a real woman and achieve your goals, as well as win over any guy or adult man.

How to grow up a girl at 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 and more mentally and morally

The fact is that moral and mental maturation is not at all connected with the biological age of a person. In order to successfully and painlessly go through this difficult period and prepare yourself for a new, more responsible stage of life, you need to engage in self-development and study of yourself and your capabilities.

Discover and develop your own talents.

Think carefully about where you would like to see yourself in 10 years and what you need to do to become that person.

To expand your own horizons and gain knowledge, you need to travel, visit new places, museums, exhibitions, theaters.

Expand your social circle with new acquaintances.

Be honest with yourself and with the people around you.

Control your actions, language and attitude to the world around you.

Learn to stop yourself in time and say “no” at the right time.

Don't try to look older with clothes or makeup.

Take care of your body and its physical fitness.

How to mature a girl psychologically in a relationship

The setting of great life goals favorably contributes to the psychological maturation of a person. The effort put into achieving a higher level will never be wasted.

Caring for loved ones no less effectively affects the psychological maturation and development of a person.

Take responsibility for making independent serious decisions that can affect the course of your entire future life.

Do not hide from the problems that life brings you. Look for ways to resolve and eliminate them.

Investigate your own motivation.

How to help a woman mature in a relationship

Relationship learning happens on its own. Through communication with peers, both girls and boys, people grow and develop both morally and mentally. In order to understand well life lessons sometimes it's not enough to get just one bad experience or live one undeveloped relationship.

Sometimes you have to step on the same rake several times until the correct behavior model is formed in the subconscious in a given situation.

Instead of looking for another person after another failure, it is better to sit down and dig deep inside yourself. After all, there are flaws in each of us, but not all of us are ready to recognize them and engage in their search and correction.

1 comment

Please tell me how to stop acting like a child???

How to grow up?

Many of us, even as children, dreamed of growing up as soon as possible. This trend is quite relevant in the modern world. Teenagers and children want to be adults, to be respected, to have complete freedom actions, could decide for themselves what to do, they are weighed down by the so-called submission to parents. But growing up does not consist in the listed categories, but first of all in the fact that a person clearly distinguishes for himself such concepts as good and evil, wisdom and stupidity, an adult will be able to curb the manifestations of childish or youthful maximalism, emotions when they are superfluous , and will also be ready to answer for the deeds and actions done independently, which is a considerable responsibility to society and to oneself.

What is the difference between an adult and a child and a teenager?

To answer this question, we must consider it from different angles (although, of course, there are situations when a child, in terms of his level of development and individual qualities outgrows an adult, and this may depend on certain life circumstances):

• First of all, an adult is a bearer of a certain life experience and knows about real life much more than a child or teenager who is still limited to a certain social area, such as a school or a kindergarten.
• An adult is forced to restrain his emotions in public, because the ethics of a truly adult and conscious member of society dictate this. In this case, it is easier for children, they are free and more free in the manifestation of their emotions. Two periods of a child's growing up are especially noteworthy: 5-7 years - the preschool period, when children are characterized by a very changeable psychological state and youthful maximalism, through which all adolescents pass, from the stage of puberty to adolescence.
• An adult person is responsible for himself and his family, while a child is still responsible only for himself, but even this he does not always succeed, because at a subconscious level, children feel the support of their parents and the opportunity to shift the right of responsibility for their behavior to them. shoulders.
• The child is almost entirely dependent on the parents, both financially and psychologically. An adult person is his own support and depends only on himself.
• Physical features also play a delimiting role in determining the adult and the child.

According to the latest statistics in the field of sociology, the infantilization of society has reached its climax, many 30-year-olds behave like 15-year-old teenagers, and 40-year-olds behave like 20-year-olds, this is not the norm.

How to grow up right

How to grow up quickly is a rather serious question, the answer to which is individual for each teenager or child, since all people are different. Do not rush to grow up! Think about the fact that a carefree childhood can never be returned, but adulthood with responsibility for actions, for your behavior, where there will no longer be a strong parental shoulder, you will always have time to start.

In order to grow up, both a girl and a young man, it is necessary to think about the future, about the family, about a career, about the future, that is, about such things that will subsequently play a decisive role in the fate of each of both. A young man should feel responsible for himself and for his soul mate.

A life goal is also one of the guidelines for growing up a young individual. Indeed, in order to achieve the goal, a person solves certain tasks, often difficult ones, and makes difficult decisions.