Soul hurts - what to do? Psychologist's advice. How to get rid of mental pain? How to treat pain in the soul

There is physical and mental pain. The first fight is quite simple, because modern medicine can quickly determine its source and prescribe the necessary course of treatment. But with mental pain, everything is much more complicated. Therefore, many people live with it for years, without fully understanding what caused it to appear.

But psychology does not stand still. Having dug into the back streets of consciousness, experts learned a lot about the human psyche, in particular, about how to get rid of mental pain. By following simple tips, you can not only overcome your inner suffering, but also regain lost happiness.

Heartache: what is it?

It is very difficult to give an exact description of this phenomenon. After all, the inner world cannot be measured, touched, and even more so seen. But at the same time, the sensations during psychological trauma are no less painful than with a fracture or burn, and sometimes they can be much worse.

So what is heartache? First of all, this is a feeling caused by consciousness in response to an emotional shock. Depending on the cause of its appearance, the pain can be both barely perceptible and heartbreaking. But even after small shocks, a person feels overwhelmed and broken, as if he had run out of electricity.

And if nothing is done, then soon the pain will be supplemented by despair. And when the hands drop completely, depression will come. And it is much more difficult to fight this enemy, and sometimes without the help of a specialist it is completely impossible.

But before you know how to deal with mental pain, you should understand its sources. After all, the only way to defeat her without hurting yourself.

Where do emotional upheavals come from?

Many are sure that spiritual experiences can arise only after serious emotional upheavals. For example, the death of a loved one, the discovery of a serious illness, an accident, betrayal, and so on. Naturally, such life upheavals will affect the human psyche, but the truth is that in most cases, less noticeable reasons become the causes of mental pain.

So what can break inner harmony and let the confusion into the soul?

1. life under the mask. IN modern world often you have to lie, not only to others, but also to yourself. It is necessary to put yourself in the best light - to become more significant. But you'll have to pay for the lies peace of mind, because our consciousness does not like when they play with it. And even more so, it will not calmly accept the fact that they want to change it.

2. Backlog. Quite often, mental pain arises from dissatisfaction with one's own actions. For example, when because of work you have to sacrifice the performance of a child, or when, instead of going to the gym, a person lay on the couch all day. All these unfulfilled dreams, plans and meetings fall like a dead weight on the shoulders and are guaranteed to lead to emotional depression.

3. Impotence. Lack of money, strength, beauty, health, knowledge - this list can be continued for a very long time, but the essence is the same - impotence. When a person cannot get what he wants, he suffers.

There is nothing worse than unrequited love

Heartache from love is a separate case. Unlike other troubles, unrequited feelings can hurt a lot. And the more a person strives to get the object of his sigh, the more pain pierces the heart.

In such cases, it is often said that a person seems to be drying up. This is partly true, because apart from dreams of a loved one, he is not interested in anything. It becomes completely unimportant what is happening around, what kind of people surround and what to do next.

And in order to save its owner from danger, consciousness sends him an alarm signal - pain. In this way, the brain tries to make a person look around, to understand that it is impossible to live like this any longer.

Three strict bans

Before embarking on your own healing, you should remember one thing important rule: never slide into the abyss of vice. Indeed, during this period, the temptation is very great, and, alas, many succumb to it, making more and more attempts to extinguish their pain with the help of alcohol, nicotine and drugs.

This method not only does not relieve pain, but also increases emotional experience. The feeling of own lack of will complements the already gray picture, pushing to give up. Having embarked on this path, a person is deprived of the opportunity to reason sensibly, which will certainly lead to defeat.

Therefore, it is worth putting alcohol, drugs and cigarettes under a strict ban. This will not only help you concentrate on finding a solution to the problem, but also keep you healthy. And, as you know, it is worth its weight in gold. Much better to get addicted to green tea, it is not only healthy, but also able to lift your spirits a little.

Awareness is the first step to peace of mind

As mentioned above, mental pain has many faces. Therefore, it is important to understand what was the reason for her this time. Looking into yourself, you should understand your own feelings, how long ago they appeared.

In most cases, the answer lies on the surface, you just have to take a closer look, and there it is. After that, it will be much easier to solve the problem, because, knowing the enemy in person, you can build a war strategy.

But sometimes there are several sources of emotional excitement, and they are so closely intertwined that it is difficult to distinguish them from each other. Therefore, even when the main problem is found, the search should continue, because who knows what else is hidden from the eyes.

Perhaps at first such a study of one's own consciousness will not be easy, but one should not stop. Over time, such a practice will become habitual, moreover, the brain will take it for granted, opening access to hidden corners of consciousness.

Not all problems can be solved

Sometimes it is impossible to eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, it is impossible to resurrect a dead person, erase memories of a loved one, become different at one moment, and so on. What to do then? How to deal with mental pain?

Answer: no way. It is simply impossible to completely get rid of such pain, no matter how much time passes. The only thing left is to learn to live with this feeling, to accept it as part of yourself. This will help to reduce the strength of the pain just enough so that you can safely coexist with it.

Although this does not seem like a very happy prospect, it is the reality. And to accept it means to embark on the path of deliverance from suffering. This is the only way to get the much-desired peace and begin to experience joyful feelings again.

Eat, sleep and walk

Due to emotional stress, the body weakens, as a result, it becomes more and more difficult to deal with problems. Therefore, it is very important not to forget about things like sleep, food and outdoor activities.

Lying down in bed, a person is left alone with his problems, because of this it is sometimes very difficult to fall asleep. But you need to understand that without a night's rest, the brain does not work well, which will further aggravate the situation. To fall asleep faster, you should use counting rhymes, they help to distract and relax.
Healthy food. You should not seize stress with anything, otherwise problems with the stomach will be added to the appendage of mental trauma. It is also worth taking care of the daily norm of vitamins and minerals, they will strengthen not only the body, but also the psyche.
Walks. Even if in such times you want to hide from the world, you should not do this. Short walks around the area will not only enrich the blood with oxygen, but also help to unwind a little. The main thing is not to delve into yourself, but try to catch something new in the surrounding landscape.

Sport is the best doctor

Nothing dispels sadness like active training. Fortunately, in the modern world there are a huge number of various sports clubs and gyms, so finding the right one will not be difficult.

Sport is not only able to distract from current problems, but also can temper the will. It will make the mind more resistant to psychological stress and stress. He teaches us to win and overcome our own fears and failures.

The most difficult thing in this method is to take the first step, go beyond the threshold and go to the right address. And if you didn’t manage to force yourself, then at least you should start doing exercises in the morning. Albeit not much, but it will help.

Visits to a psychologist

How to get rid of mental pain, experts know. A qualified psychologist will not only help you find the cause of suffering, but also suggest the most effective ways her decisions. Unfortunately, many people are afraid of such meetings, because, in their opinion, this is a manifestation of weakness, and sometimes even worse - a mental disorder.

But the reality is that a psychologist can really help. And if you make an effort on yourself and turn to it, you can avoid many problems, including the appearance of depression.

But be that as it may, one thing is important - mental pain exists, and it must be fought. There are many methods for this, but their essence is one thing - move forward, no matter what happens.

Doctor! Heal your soul
This is a complete abscess
I promise to listen to you
You are a doctor, I am a patient!

Are you saying it's not possible?
No pills for the soul?
What to do with her carefully
Take a break, don't rush to live?

Do not shake her in vain,
And do not tear it at night.
After all, the soul is wonderful!
Weaved like brocade

From sunsets and sunrises
Webs and dews,
good morning greetings,
Marvelous lace beauty.

Yes, I remember it was
Lots of bright heat.
How my soul loved!
How beautiful she was!

And now it's so empty inside
Like the lights were turned off.
Ugly, disgusting, scary, sad,
-Doctor! Give me advice!

Turned away and walks away
It's a pity that it took time.
What is happening to me
I couldn't explain...

Vladimir Belozersky

Cure! I come to see a doctor -
Doctor, it's bad for me, even scream.
Doctor, from the soul of paralysis
Heal me, heal me!

Doctor, dear, do not seek
There is no reason for bodily troubles -
From my spiritual weakness
Heal me, heal me!

In the cities I am nobody's heart,
In the cities I am a beggar in soul, -
I am impersonal with asphalt.
Heal me, heal me!

Appoint forty drops of rain,
Write to me - in the meadows backwards.
Virus of the city, not otherwise ...
Heal me, heal me!

Appoint coniferous smell of thickets,
Do not regret procedures, more often!
Forgive me for begging too much, -
Doctor, paralyzed soul
Heal me, heal me!

He will not die immediately, but he will dream about it © Doctor House

If you wait long enough, someone is bound to get sick © Dr. House

Most patients can't tell the forehead from the pubis © Dr. House

Luxurious women become doctors only if someone offended them © Dr. House

I'll be in my office. Alone with yourself. There's a ton of new pornography on the internet that can't be downloaded on its own © Dr. House

Doctors must treat diseases, and those who treat patients do not get out of anguish © Dr. House

If I enjoy hating life, I don't hate life. I enjoy it © Dr. House

Is it a lie, a lie if everyone knows it's a lie? © Doctor House

If she agrees with me, then I don't need her. If not, I don't want her © Dr. House on Cuddy

Either help live or die - you can't do it all at once © Dr. House

Who do you need, a doctor who holds your hand while you die, or a doctor who ignores you while you get better? Perhaps the worst thing is to have a doctor who ignores you while you are dying. © House

Do you want me to treat him? Medicines in a pharmacy, immobile patient in intensive care. Looks like a simple geographical problem. © House

I don't work well on search groups. Also, I can't sit, smoke, get nervous and do nothing! © House

How is your prostitute? - Oh, so nice of you to ask - funny story: She was going to be a hospital administrator, but she didn't like having people that way. © Cuddy and House

Ecology of life. When old wounds open and pain gushing like a bucket, when, as in the worst dream, you are suddenly left completely alone and it is not clear who to blame for this .... so that the heart does not harden, and the soul does not dry out, it is important to allow yourself to cry ...

When old wounds open and pain gushing like a bucket when, as in the worst dream, you are suddenly left all alone and it is not clear who to blame for this .... so that the heart does not harden, and the soul does not dry out, it is important to allow yourself to cry ... Tears will wash the wound.

With deepest love and regret, fill it with memories of how you once were and what path you had to go through in order to allow yourself to simply cry in complete safety, sitting serenely on your sofa today.

And maybe you were even lucky and there was a friend near you who nods to the beat of your sobs and curses all those who offended you. He probably knows how tears heal, how they burn out everything that gives rise to them: resentment burns in the heart with a blue flame, events are dispelled by ashes in memory, healed by the scar tissue of the wound ... And gradually .... over time ... peace and grace will reign in the empty conflagration ...

how to heal your heartache

To a greater or lesser extent, such sore spots exist in each of us. Because there are no surprises in life. And with many of them it is completely not clear how to cope.

Great nature has laid in our nervous system three standard ways of responding to any physical and psychological danger. Two of them - flight and fight - are quite reasonable and logical. When a person is faced with an incomprehensible or dangerous situation, his body is immediately filled with strength to cope with the circumstances or in some way to avoid them.

When, for any of the reasons, it is impossible to dump this energy through action, a person instinctively resorts to the third method - he freezes. All the tension that has arisen in the body remains bound inside nervous system until the very moment when the "danger" is over. Scientists call this reaction - immobilization. Most often, the injury is born in this place. It arises not so much because we freeze, but because we do not die when it is already quite safe to do so.

how to heal psychological trauma

In other words, trauma is the remnants of the accumulated psychological and, accordingly, physical stress, which somehow breaks out and requires a way out. That is why people who have experienced trauma sometimes behave strangely. They keep replaying memories of the trauma in their minds. They literally live in the past, coming up with different real and unreal options for how it could be. They refuse to accept reality. They return to the “scene”. They may even build any new relationship in such a way as to relive the traumatic event. So, a person rejected in love, in a new relationship will not only be afraid of rejection, but will also do everything to ensure that he is rejected again. Psychologists even have a term - "the trauma of the rejected."

From the point of view of sanity, such behavior seems stupid. Friends, relatives, parents, wives and husbands are advised to immediately begin to behave reasonably. They are unaware that a person, returning physically or emotionally to his trauma, is actually acting intuitively or even instinctively very wisely. He rushes to the place where intense tension was born in order to be able to do what did not work out then - to reset, or, more simply, to use up stagnant energy. He just doesn't really understand how to do it right. And in the end, the return leads to repeated heavy feelings and emotions, which only increase the trauma. It seems to be running in a spiral, tightly twisting trauma into the very depths of the human soul.

However, turning this path back, despite all the apparent difficulties, is quite feasible for every person, especially with professional help. You can start with a simple understanding that at the biological level, survival is important for any individual who finds himself in a difficult psychological or physiological situation. This is the oldest instinct, without which people would not exist in this world. It cannot be controlled by even the most enlightened and spiritually developed mind. Survived means won! This is the simple and clear logic of nature and human nature. This is the starting point from which the healing of any injury begins.

So, it's time to take care of your own wounds. Please think about what injury, pain or wound you would like to start healing today…. Now honestly ask yourself:

WHAT DID I DO TO SURVIVE?

I always ask this question very first, because in an acute negative state a person tends to see his mistakes and mistakes more. At the same time, he absolutely devalues everything that he has already been able to do to cope with a painful situation. Sometimes, one simple realization: “I did everything I understood and could at that time” - brings tremendous relief.

When you begin to constructively and gradually analyze the situation in which you were hurt so badly, you suddenly notice that you could have acted in many other ways, which, perhaps, would have led to different results or consequences. I make sure that these remarks do not fall as an internal reproach on an already sick heart, but with respect for the lessons that have already been learned thanks to a new, unfortunately sad, experience.

What can you do if a person really quickly and effectively learns solely from his suffering. So, it's time to separate the experience you've had from what you've learned from it:

What have I learned from this situation?

What did you understand?

What did I see differently?

How to act correctly, to say what to do if something similar starts happening to me next time?

And only when all your own merits are seen and appreciated, and all the lessons are thoroughly learned, you can go further and ask yourself:

WHAT DID I NOT DO BUT HELPED ME SURVIVE?

This important question can turn your whole life upside down.

One of my raped clients, five years after the horrific event, was still scolding and punishing herself for not resisting, fighting, screaming, or biting. The girl literally brought herself to exhaustion and exhaustion, until she suddenly realized that it was her humility and silence, in the literal sense of the word, that helped her stay alive. The time has come for pure and sincere tears, full of gratitude to yourself. With all these tears flowed away and torment. For the first time in many years, the soul of a very young girl was filled to the brim with peace and quiet.

Almost always, such realizations and understandings alleviate the general condition, but rarely do they heal the trauma itself. It is like an onion that must be carefully peeled layer by layer to get to the core. The first layer is the semantic integration of traumatic experience into life. The questions that I have shared above will help you with this. It is quite possible to answer them on your own. Now it's time to move on.

The heart of any mental wound lives in our memory, pulsates in our nerves and twists our entire body. Healing trauma is possible only by releasing tension on all three levels. Memory, emotions and the body, which directly lives all this, are inseparably connected with each other. You pull one thread and you will certainly begin to unravel the whole tangle of traumatic pain.

For convenience, I will break the technique into several steps:

Step 1: Create an internal trauma map.

At this point, I will ask you to turn to your memory. Recall the very beginning of the situation, which later turned out to be unbearable, difficult and (or) painful for you. If you dare to work on your own, and not with your psychologist or psychotherapist, it is better to take a sheet of paper to simply write a detailed story about what happened to you and how in chronological order.

However, these will not be just memories in the usual sense of the word. I ask you to be very attentive to yourself and note:

what moments in your description no longer cause any emotions in you;
at what moments your body reacts sharply with tears, excitement, fear or even anger. It doesn’t matter what the emotion is, even if you can’t name it, but your body responds to the memory with any discomfort, mark it for yourself. It is better to highlight these points with a marker.

As a result, at this step you must see with your own eyes not only at what moment certain emotions appeared, but also what stimulus caused them. It can be anything: someone's word, a smell, a picture in front of your eyes, your own thought.

For example, one of my clients first experienced an acute sense of helplessness when, in early childhood, she was tied to a medical chair to cut out her tonsils. This feeling came at the very moment when the doctor tightened the bandages. The feeling of stiffness in her hands haunted her for most of her life. For some, it was just an unpleasant operation, but for my client, it turned into a psychological trauma that was reflected in her entire subsequent life.

By and large, you need to find the very birth of the mental pain that haunts you and determine what exactly served this birth.

Step 2: Search for opportunities and ways to release ALL stuck feelings and states.

release the heartache

In fact, this stage can take you from several minutes to several weeks. Everything solely depends on your ability to express real experiences in the form of specific actions, deeds, words and emotions. I used the word “real” because sometimes suppressed emotions can transform into other states and feelings that a person notices in himself and focuses on them as negative. So, depression very often (not always!) hides aggression that is not expressed in an acceptable way, which you will not immediately see behind an unhappy and depressed face.

At this stage, we are just going to explore our real initial impulses that are stuck in us. To do this, you again need to return to your memory. At the very beginning of the event, which we have already begun to analyze. And I will ask you to start living this memory in your memory in chronological order, as you did in the first step. However, this time we will slightly correct your memory. Each time you come to the most emotional moments of your difficult event, stop and think:

HOW DO I WANT TO ANSWER? APPLY? DO? REACT?

And only when you decide on the answer, show in your imagination this reaction to the fullest extent possible. In the therapeutic process, I actively connect the body to work. If a person wants to scream, he screams; if he wants to fight, he fights; to speak out, he speaks out. One rule works here: “how many painful, annoying stimuli have come, so many people must give out responses and reactions to these stimuli.” Pretty meticulous and intense work.

One of my clients was going through a difficult divorce. It's been a little over two years since her marriage broke up, but she seems to be stuck in that time. She lived as if the divorce was still going on.

When we began to work with her, we noticed that she dutifully listened to a lot of negative statements and accusations against her from her husband. Perhaps it was easier for him, but he blamed his wife entirely for the deplorable situation of their family. The rather tortured woman was silent, crying, apologizing, promising to change. However, a huge storm of indignation was seething inside her. In fact, she had something to answer her husband. But the fear of being alone and the hope that everything can be fixed made her keep silent.

First of all, we decided that there really is no chance. More than two years have passed. The divorce took place officially and physically. They no longer live together. He left for another family. So it makes sense to look at what is stuck in her soul and is still inexorably disturbing. At first timidly, then more and more boldly, the great pain of a woman living in deep loneliness in her own family fell out on me in the form of a stream of words. She managed to express and express all reproaches, remarks, hopes, feelings, thoughts. Everything I wanted to say at that moment to my husband. And as soon as last words vanished into thin air, and there was silence. A deep breath and: “Now it seems to me that getting a divorce was the right decision for me in the first place” ... Is it worth noting that a completely different story began next?

I will share with you another therapy, which for me at that time turned out to be one of the most difficult professionally and personally:

A very young young man had a chance to meet the tragic death of a loved one. He bravely endured the news of his death, the funeral and three years of his subsequent life. Friends and relatives admired the endurance of his spirit. He approached me as a specialist in psychosomatics. He was tormented by severe headaches, which over time only intensified even more. Medicines didn't help much.

We began by simply listening to the pain, which, like thunder, with increasing force, dispersed with a characteristic crackle along the entire inner surface of the skull. The pain grew, throbbed and beat. It grew.. pulsated and beat... When you listen to your illness, or rather the feeling that is associated with it, you will certainly come to its beginning, to its peculiar origin on the timeline of our life history. There, in this place, maybe even in a very distant past, something else is happening, something in our inner world has not yet ended, and for some reason we have overlooked it. Illness draws our attention to the past so that we can help resolve what it is time to end.

Very quickly, in one of the first hypnotic sessions, headache led the young man to the only memory left in his mind of that tragic period of his life. Then, just after the familiar voice on the telephone, talking about the death of the girl, he first felt a sharp blow inside his head. A bright lightning flashed and thundered the thought: “No! That's impossible!" And then the fog ... fragments of thoughts about the need to pull himself together ... And the memory receded, erasing behind it all the feelings and memories that could prevent him from controlling himself. Whenever a person stops the natural physical or mental processes in himself, he pays an exorbitant price with his health and, ultimately, with his life.

Trauma is such a natural process in which a person learns to cope with an unexpected, non-standard and difficult situation for him. My client, in order to look decent, was able to stop the heartache. But even deeply hidden, she found loopholes and manifested itself in the form of a headache.

Three therapy sessions in a row, just one resounding “No!” sounded in my office. He was beaten back by punches against the wall. It poured out with malicious claims to death and hatred for all those who are still so carelessly alive. Literally with vomiting from the inside of the human came a refusal to accept such a blatant, absolutely incomprehensible injustice into his life. This hysteria continued for some time, until at one moment tears splashed ... and exorbitant grief spilled over into a huge deep ocean before our eyes:

How can I be now? How can I be now? the man was crying softly...

To be, my good, to be ... - a timid whisper echoed in time ...

We worked together for a little over eight months. During this time, the headaches gradually disappeared, reconciling my client with a reality in which, unfortunately, there is a place for real losses.

This step on the path to healing trauma is the most difficult. I don't recommend it to anyone to go it alone. But if you still decide, live your trauma competently in your inner world, adding to your memories all the nuances that I described above. I'm not really asking you to change your memories. But I ask you to supplement them with all those hidden, unmanifested things that were born and took place. You are always bigger, which means stronger.

heal spiritual wounds

My dear reader, sometimes it is not at all easy to live in this wide world. I only wish you never close in yourself, do not despair and do not push away all those who are near, who love and are ready to help. Don't be ashamed or afraid to accept any help from friends and professionals. After all, if you don’t survive your pain today, you risk realizing at the end of your life that you lived only with it, that you ate and savored it all the way! Isn't the price too high? Isn't our life (and the life of those who are connected with us) worth at least a little effort to resolve suffering, heal the heart and ease our soul?! published

Article author: Maria Barnikova (psychiatrist)

Heartache: inevitable suffering or a chance to become happy?

20.11.2015

Maria Barnikova

Mental pain is a specific phenomenon that deeply affects the sphere of feelings of the individual and manifests itself in a change in the mental state of a person.

heartache- a specific phenomenon that deeply affects the sphere of feelings of the individual and manifests itself in a change in the mental state of a person. Unlike physiological pain syndromes, mental suffering is not the result of organic or functional diseases of the body.

The mechanism of development of mental pain

As an emotion, mental pain occurs in response to a sudden global change in habitual way of life personality that a person interprets as an important negative event. In most cases, such an emotion is the result of a significant loss for the individual, for example: the death of a close relative, separation from a beloved partner, a break due to betrayal from best friend, death of a pet, loss of social status.

A rapidly emerging emotion, with a kind of negative assessment by a person, is transformed into a long-term negative experience, translating mental pain into a deep, intensely expressed feeling. According to psychologists, any sudden loss by a person of components significant for life, whether it be the loss of a loved one or a valuable object, removes an essential link from among the factors necessary for the survival of an individual.

Until recently, most doctors adhered to the hypothesis that mental pain is purely subjective. Modern psychologists adhere to the theory that mental pain is a phenomenon that is completely different from bodily sensations, a kind of unconscious suffering for one's own "I". However, detailed studies conducted by American neuropsychologists have refuted this assertion. The pictures obtained by means of a magnetic resonance tomograph confirmed the identity in the process of development of mental pain and physiological pain. In both cases, when a person experiences both mental suffering and physical pain, activation of the neurons of the limbic system of the brain is observed.

It has also been established that mental anguish can manifest itself at the physiological level, in particular, be felt as psychogenic pain. This type of pain syndrome is not associated with somatic pathologies and does not have a clear localization. Often, mental, as well as psychogenic pain, is an indispensable companion of depression, hysteria, hypochondria, anxiety, and other psycho-emotional disorders.

Causes

As a rule, humanity is accustomed to shifting all responsibility for the occurrence of moral suffering exclusively on external factors and circumstances. However, this unpleasant experience of a psychosomatic nature can arise due to prolonged physical and mental stress, for example: a constant feeling of irrational, long-term suppressed emotion of anger. Not taking into account the primordially physiological nature of such reactions: a deficiency of certain chemical substances- neurotransmitters, excessive production of anxiety hormones, a person interprets his feelings as exclusively inner feeling, not paying attention to concomitant muscle spasms, tension headache and other somatic symptoms.

Quite often, a person cultivates mental pain on his own, creating a direct association with painful sensations experienced in the past from some event. This conscious fixation on negative situations personal history connects any, even an insignificant phenomenon with previous suffering, leading to a chronic mental “shake”.

The mental pain often demonstrated to others masks the obscene thoughts of a person. Thus, the inner cynical need of an individual to gain certain benefits can be hidden behind the suffering of the soul, for example: to attract attention by any means, to receive a guarantee not to experience a fiasco in actions. Exhibited mental anguish can be a skillful tool for revenge or become a means to achieve power over others.

An important reason for the widespread occurrence of mental suffering is the historical fact: Christian morality encourages and cultivates mental pain. In the understanding of believers, torment of the heart is a virtue, an indicator of righteousness and the true faith of a person. Modern culture to match Christianity, he preaches the principle: the experience of suffering is dignity, special heroism, a kind of indicator of an educated humane personality, a necessary destiny of a person on the path to transformation.

Step 1: Give Yourself Time to Suffer

How to cope with mental pain - an uninvited guest, who unceremoniously destroys happiness and faith? To cope with mental pain, you should give yourself time to go through a difficult period, do not rush or push yourself. Remember: most people are characterized by an independent subsidence of mental pain, provided that the “bleeding wound” is not reopened. This is similar to how relaxation occurs over time after muscle spasms, how a psychogenic headache disappears after a quality rest. The rate of natural healing of the body depends on a number of factors: the age of the person, his psychological characteristics, the state of the central nervous system, the significance for the individual of the events experienced.

Step 2. Get rid of the habit of dramatization

Unfortunately, most of our contemporaries, who are prone to tormenting the heart, do not have sufficient psychological knowledge about how to relieve mental pain, or do not use the skills in practice. Many of us have ritual patterns of behavior, the essence of which is "rubbing salt in the wound." This is manifested in the habit of raising and discussing a painful topic, remembering the past “happy” days, not letting go, but pursuing a person, even when the futility of the relationship is clearly understood. Of course, the minor feeling that has arisen after a tragic event is a natural and understandable state, but the habit of consciously dramatizing and increasing the scale of the catastrophe must be eradicated. If mental pain in the heart is provoked by an event that cannot be changed, for example: with an incurable illness of a loved one, one should work on emotions and change the interpretation of the situation.

Mental suffering can be consciously or not strengthened by the close environment, touching on weak points, touching on unpleasant topics, giving "practical" advice. In such situations, in order to relieve mental pain, it is necessary to reconsider personal contacts, temporarily stopping communication with such people who are doing a disservice.

Step 3. We measure our torments with the difficulties of the universe

Most people quickly jump into a fight with mental pain without understanding whether the problem really exists. Psychologists say that 99% of all “insoluble” difficulties are created independently by a person, more precisely, by the brain. People make an elephant out of a fly, temporary troubles are introduced into the rank of the apocalypse. And the resulting mental pain is not evidence of an insurmountable threat, but the fact that the person is confused in the interpretation of events, she lacks knowledge and skills.

In such a situation, mental pain is a valuable gift of nature, directing a person to study his personality, reflect on the meaning of life, and reflect on his reality. Psychologists advise to recognize the fact that a personal problem is the smallest grain in the complex structure of the universe. Understanding this allows a person to dive much deeper than their difficulties, gives a person a chance to gain wisdom, change in better side, perform only useful actions and not waste energy in vain.

Step 4. Studying ourselves and our suffering

An important step in overcoming heartache is to give honest answers to the questions: “What truth does heartache reveal? What lesson do I need to learn from this event? To deal with mental pain, you need to immerse yourself in it and study it. And faith in one's own strengths, purpose and motivation will help to get out of a difficult state. Every person has a cherished dream, the realization of which is constantly postponed until later. A person, guided by primitive instincts, does not leave himself a chance to realize a dream because of his own laziness, invented excuses for inaction, fictional fears and lack of faith.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to devote time to studying your condition and try to determine the real reason for your feelings. To do this, on a piece of paper, you should state your activities to the smallest detail over the past week and try to describe your current feelings. For more than half of the people, heartache is triggered by regret about the misused time spent on absolutely useless things.

For example: a housewife, instead of devoting time to personal development and education, full-fledged social contacts, body care, sees her mission exclusively in performing routine household chores. Often, a woman with such a way of life suffers from the accumulated fatigue from the monotonous housework, which does not meet with due appreciation from the spouse, and reaches a critical point when the husband leaves the family.

What to do in such a situation, and how to cope with mental pain? Accept a fait accompli, reconsider life priorities, change the field of activity, work on discovering new facets of personality, try to find your own zest.

Step 5: Rethinking Your Lifestyle

Important actions that must be performed daily to escape from the bottomless abyss and cope with mental pain:

eat,
sleep,
move.

You should make a varied, healthy, complete and tasty menu, enjoying the ritual of eating. Sleep is an important component for restoring health, a magical cure for pain. Movement is exactly the argument, because of which any organism lives.

To get rid of mental pain, you need to have a healthy body, because the stability of the emotional sphere directly depends on physical condition. In order to quickly cope with a painful state of mind, you need to “turn on” the resources of the body by going in for sports. Physical activity is not only a way to be in great shape and maintain physical health, but also a chance to achieve harmony in the inner world, get moral pleasure, stand on the true life path and find peace of mind.

Step 6. Taking care of loved ones

When your heart is completely sad, remember your loved ones and start taking care of them. Sometimes it is very difficult to take a step towards others, because when the soul suffers, all thoughts are focused only on their state. Getting rid of the barriers of selfishness, showing attention and love to another person, as a reward you will receive gratitude, a surge of energy and an incentive to rise and live. Therefore, by doing good to others, a person takes care of his well-being and can cope with the suffering of the heart.

Step 7. Get rid of destructive emotions

To survive the pain of the heart, you need to get rid of negative emotions. Remember: the one who justifies and cultivates resentment, envy, jealousy, is doomed to feel mental anguish, because the accumulated intensity of negative passions will destroy the person himself first of all.

Step 8. Saying "no" to bad habits

Attention! Many people who are suffering try to get rid of their mental pain with the help of alcohol, drugs, risky activities. Due to severe painful internal sensations and misunderstanding of the nature of mental pain, a person, instead of efforts aimed at changing his personality, prefers to escape from reality, forgetting himself in the fog of destructive addictions. However, such a measure not only does not help to cope with mental pain, but also creates even more dangerous problems, depriving one of willpower and taking away the last hope for happiness.

Step 9. Temper our soul

Remember that it is easier to prevent heartache than to deal with it. You should develop your emotional stability, train mental stamina, strengthen psychological invulnerability. It is necessary to start tempering your soul with successfully overcoming life's little things. The main rule is to identify the wrong interpretation of the event and change your perception of the situation, at least to a neutral point of view.

For example: as a result of layoffs, you were fired from a prestigious position. Natural emotions will be anger, resentment, anger, disappointment, fear for the future. However, such a forced “leaving” brings a lot of positive things: to bring novelty into everyday life, the opportunity to try yourself in a new field, get another education, motivate you to succeed in your own business, discover your talents in another field. In this case, a positive interpretation of events will not give the slightest chance to be captured by their mental anguish.

Step 10. Work the muscles of the face

The strangest and most ridiculous, but effective way to cope with the torment of the soul: vigorously chewing chewing gum. The fact is that suffering involves static "fading" and tension of the muscles, including the muscles of the face. Rhythmic and energetic movements of the jaws relieve the muscles of immobility, eliminating spasms.

If you cannot cure mental pain on your own, you should seek professional help from psychologists.

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