It is difficult to imagine an occupation more difficult than working on oneself. But the effect of it is grandiose. Not many people believe that this task can be completed. More less people who are ready to take on themselves, and even without outside help, and even more so.

Experiment: change or die

Ian Deutschman, in the article "Change or Die", spoke about the results of a study of a group of people who were faced with the task of giving up certain habits under the threat of death.

Even this strong stimulus only worked for 10 percent of patients. Over the course of a year, nine out of ten test subjects, despite killing themselves, returned to their usual lifestyle.

This experiment provides an opportunity to appreciate how strong the power of habit is, and how difficult it is to resist even when making vital decisions.

It's hard to imagine more a high degree motivation than in the study described. If the threat of death does not force people to change, in a safe situation they are even less inclined to give up habits.

What is self-improvement?

What is “work on oneself”, self-improvement, about which so much is being said, written and argued now? How exactly does this happen? What do people do when they say (or don't say) that they are practicing self-improvement?

Yes, of course, this is a very personal concept. What one person considers as work on himself, the other will attribute to an absolutely natural matter that does not require any effort at all.

This is the definition I found from the psychologist Nikolai Kozlov, respected by me: “Self-improvement (work on oneself) is the conscious development of worthy (necessary in life and ethical) skills and qualities, and on their basis, the development of new roles.”

I asked the public a question here on Facebook: “What do you understand by working on yourself, what methods and what exactly are you doing in this direction?”

There were many interesting answers! Here are some, excerpts from the comments(Thank you my dear friends!):

When you do something new and you like it.
Self-control and above all over thoughts.
It is love and respect for yourself.
It's like cleaning, only inside yourself, you can do it every day, you can do it once a week, you can do it less often, or you can not do it at all .... then harmony, then it's comfortable with you.
Work on yourself is the improvement of your character and spiritual qualities. Self-discipline and self-education. Harmonious coexistence with the environment.
First of all - clarity in life (consciousness, responsibility for the perceived and actions from responsibility), following one's path and self-discipline.
Acceptance of anyone. The hardest job.
Education of character and the search for values.
This is work on your inner world, over their inner qualities, over their character, work on fears.
This is a search and elimination in oneself (!) of the reasons for dissatisfaction with one's life, one's relationships with others and one's reputation. This is the transformation of your personality, taking into account the wishes of how you need to be perceived.
The ability to dream big and not be afraid to take action.
I have long been accustomed to making plans for the week, month, year. And in them: what books to read, what grades to correct, what languages to learn, what physical activity to give yourself, what competencies. Well, and all sorts personal qualities type of courage and self-confidence to pump.
Morning-evening meditation practices. There are favorites. Filling with energy, rejuvenation, expansion of consciousness. Thoughts that come, I observe and send further - I don’t get stuck.

What do all these options have in common? The need for change. Absolutely everyone, one way or another, talked about the importance of changing: changing habits, way of thinking, way of acting. And it's a lifelong process. Now you understand where to start working on yourself?

One of my friends once wrote me a message: “Lucky you! You've got everything moving, spinning. So bright and busy life. And everything stands still for me, everything is the same as a year, and five, and ten years ago.

Are you lucky? Is it moving? Yes, this very “everything” can move only in one way - if it is moved. Do what moves you towards your dreams, intentions, your desires. And if you do nothing, then you will never be “lucky”. And this person is in illusions - everything cannot remain the same as 10 years ago. Everything has changed a long time ago:

There is no balance in life. Every moment is either progress towards perfection or degradation (Andrew Matthews).

You can’t just “stand, wait, watch.” It turns out that you are always either forward or backward (even if it seems to you at this moment that nothing is happening). And move - what is it? It's not just to touch the sinful Earth with your feet? Of course not. It's about changing yourself. The ones that friends wrote about in the comments to the post on Facebook. The very ones that are needed to become the best version of yourself, yesterday, the day before yesterday or ten years ago.

But… We do understand what it means to change ourselves, don't we? Colossal work. By the way, Erich Maria Remarque said that:

To change something, a person needs to survive a catastrophe, poverty or the proximity of death.

But even in the face of the threat of death, a person is far from always ready to change (to change himself!).

In one study (the Fast Company magazine wrote about it in the article “Change or Die!”), a stunning result was obtained: the vast majority of people cannot resist their old habits and do right choice even in the face of mortal danger. The study was conducted among patients who needed to change their habits in order to survive. Alas, only 10% of them were able to do this, the remaining 90% of them, after 12 months, returned to old habits that almost guaranteed a fatal outcome. Can you imagine?

By the way, the same study concludes that joy is a much stronger motivator for change than fear. You need to find what personally for you is the joy of life, what can do everyday life more enjoyable.

Quote from the article:

Telling people who are lonely and depressed that they will live longer if they stop smoking or change their diet and lifestyle is not motivation! Who wants to live longer when suffering from chronic emotional pain?

And this is a deadly threat! And what can we say about the idea of changing, working on oneself, engaging in self-improvement, when there is no such threat?!

"HOW did you force yourself to do this?" - I was asked more than once when I talked about what I do, habits and what

How did you force? Here, rather, there is no secret - my favorite motto is: Just do it! Just do it. Do it every day. Let in small steps, but regularly. And even if you suddenly broke - do not whine, do not scold yourself. Just take it and do it again. Every day. This is work on yourself!

The secret, rather, lies elsewhere: how to WANT? How to find the very strong motivator that was discussed in the article - the joy of life. I don't know how to answer this question. Only the only way I know - to seek, try and learn to understand what exactly is joy for you. There is no single correct answer. Joy is a whole range of options. Joy is not a frozen result, but a process. What yesterday brought joy, today can become commonplace. So - look again! Work on yourself again - there is no limit to perfection. Well, or degradation)))).

— Masha, what exactly are YOU doing when you talk about working on yourself? I was asked in that same Facebook discussion.

But the truth is, if we move away from general phrases about self-improvement - what exactly is it expressed in?

Personally for me– i.e. in accordance with my goals, dreams, wishes, ideas about the joys of life and current values for today - this list looks like this (some things that I can and want to voice publicly, of course):

Charging every morning. Necessarily. In any condition, at least 10-15 minutes. This allows you to be cheerful, collected, feel great. As a habit, this need “grew” for about two months: I overdid it, but I did it. Now I just can't live without it!
I listen to some audio clips that are relevant to me at the moment (usually on YouTube). Now, for example: lectures by Mikhail Kazinik on music and literature, lectures on the history of religions, Alunika Dobrovolskaya, sometimes Khakamada. By the way, I combine this activity with morning exercises or jogging.
or a lot (very much!) I go. In Moscow, for example, they refused to move around the city by car - only on foot! And in terms of time, it is more profitable and much more useful for the figure and health.
I'm reading. A lot of. The choice of books also depends on the goals, values now and mood, of course. At the moment, I have “Who would have thought” by Asya Kazantseva on my bedside table. Incredibly interesting! And on the way…” Dead Souls". Yeah. After Kazinik's lectures, I wanted to re-read it. Or rather, READ. At school, I hated this ... poem! It's a poem, by the way.
Every day I work out according to the book "Simulator for the brain" (author Andrey Moguchiy).

This book is a simulator for developing attention and awakening the intellect. It is very easy to use - even a child can safely work with it on their own. The book really helps to bring your brain into working condition in a matter of seconds, to always stay in excellent intellectual shape. I bought and gave a copy to my mother and husband. They promised to do

Writing. Texts, book. Do not wait for the muse, but write, write, write - that is the secret of success if you want to be a writer, and not just a scribbler.
I am writing Morning Pages. Or not morning, but evening. Or daytime. Doesn't matter. The important thing is that I have been doing this for several years in a row and I can say for sure that it is very difficult to overestimate the effect. This is a very, very powerful tool, your own understanding of yourself, values, experience, mistakes. What are the "morning pages" and how to do it - you can read from Julia Cameron in "The Artist's Way"

Of course, this is not all that I do: I am learning to maintain and promote a blog, I am constantly working on the ability to manage my own emotions, I continue to learn to allow myself things that are important to me, which are under the locks of internal prohibitions and restrictions ...

And there are still a lot of topics that I really want to introduce into my life. For example, systematically study English. I got an incredible idea of listening to lectures in English and personally interviewing various interesting people. I want to take up dancing and feel the lightness and flexibility of the body both at 60 and at 70 years old.

There is an expression: "Win yourself, and you will win a thousand battles." Behind these loud beautiful words, there is a very simple truth: every day, making even small steps in the direction of your dreams, you will definitely be happy. Already on the road. And if it's not, maybe you're going the wrong way.

What examples do you have of working on yourself? How have you changed yourself? What EXACTLY are you doing? Share!

AND ALSO ... Let's play? I have a deck of cards that give great clues. Including questions about working on yourself.

Magic cards. They only speak the truth. Checked)))). Want to make sure?

To everyone WHO LEAVE COMMENTS ON THE SITE (on this article or any other) - I promise to get the first card from this deck that fell into my hands and send you its meaning.

So: comment (if you write a comment on another article - write: “I want a map!” We ask ourselves a question (important, relevant). I will see a comment - and post a map for you in response to comments.
GO!

There are not many people who BELIEVE that you can change yourself. Even fewer people are READY to change themselves. And how many people are CAPABLE of changing themselves on their own?

Ian Deutschman's article "Change or Die" (Fast Company magazine) described a study of patients who needed to change their habits in order to survive. Alas, only 10% of them were able to do this, the remaining 90% of them, after 12 months, returned to old habits that almost guaranteed a fatal outcome. Even in the face of a deadly threat, the vast majority of people cannot resist their old habits and make the right choice.

Notice that in that experiment we were talking about people with the ultimate motivation to change: they needed to save their lives. It seems that in calmer conditions, people change their habits even more lazily.

However, another group of patients showed different results in this study: in this group, 80% of the participants changed their habits. What made this group different? Only that they did not act alone, they had a support group. The patients who participated in the group met regularly, interacted and discussed their progress, difficulties and trials. Total: with a support group, the results were 7 times better.

It seems that there are literally only a few "selfmade" people who have made themselves on their own and alone. But why work alone? If you work with a group of like-minded people, your chances will increase at least 7 times. If you practice not just in a group, but under the guidance of a master, your performance will double.

Your choice?

Now about all this in more detail.

Look for like-minded people. If you find out who and where is doing what interests you in the field of self-improvement, be sure to come and get to know these people. Pay more attention to the atmosphere, to the relationship between people: it is usually warm and attentive relationships between people that are the key to the fact that you will like it here and you will start working with the result.

IT IS BETTER TO WORK IN A GROUP. LOOK FOR ASSOCIATES!

Enlist the support of friends. It is very important that your friends support you. If not, you need to figure it out: either you are going the wrong way and not there, or you are not very on the way with these friends. Maybe your new friends will soon be those who, together with you, want to make themselves new.

Quality training - great support. How and where to learn to work effectively on yourself? Psychological trainings will help in this best of all, the only condition is that it should be high-quality psychological training. Unfortunately, this is not always easy, today there are more base "psychological" trainings than worthy trainings that can help you.

Find your coach. Most often, the most important thing is to find YOUR mentor and coach: the one whose thoughts and whose style suits you the most, whom you want to be like and equal. The master will help you more accurately determine the direction, suggest effective techniques and methods, give high-quality feedback, help you not to forget your wonderful intentions, and create the necessary motivation.

WORK MORE EFFICIENTLY UNDER THE LEADING OF A MASTER

Consider coaching. If you can afford it, we recommend finding your own coach. A coach is a psychologist involved in accompanying healthy and successful people. Unlike psychotherapists, a coach will not treat you, and unlike a consultant psychologist, a coach does not deal with one-time psychological consultations, and as a personal guide, supports you on your development path. The coach, if he will teach you, will be to a small extent: the coach rather helps you figure out what you want and helps you achieve your goals in the best way for you.

COACHING IS WORTHY

Get on the Distance! If you are interested in the most effective work above yourself, then today it is Distance - a coaching system for step-by-step personality development. Distance is yours independent work above oneself, alternating with meetings in a group under the guidance of a leader. Distance is the most popular self-development system in Russia, developed by N.I. Kozlov. This is the development of communication skills, leadership, self-organization, building relationships in the family, the opportunity to improve health, teach yourself to go to bed on time, wean yourself from complaints, excuses and self-blame, teach yourself to hear, understand and feel people professionally. All this can be yours.

Today, you can work on the Distance, including online, via the Internet, from any city and from any country in the world.

Therefore, if you are thinking about the fact that you need to somehow self-develop and improve, then you can take note of the following tips. Remember that self-development is a complex action based on your desire, self-study and exercises aimed at improving your life.

Where to begin?

Tip one. First of all, your self-development and self-improvement should give you pleasure. You do this primarily for yourself, so that later you can be in a more advantageous position over others, in order to use your knowledge and be sure that knowledgeable people they can appreciate it.
Tip two. Realize whether you understand these concepts correctly, what they mean to you.

Self-development is a natural process that can take place both without the control of a person, and under his leadership in the area or area he needs. These include the skills that a person acquires in his life and life experience itself, the lessons that a person learns from past situations.

Uncontrolled self-development is the process itself, which is called life: birth, growing up, aging.

Controlled self-development is a conscious and purposeful action focused on improving any qualities, skills, abilities, with the help of independent studies and exercises of one's own free will and desire, without outside assistance.

Self-development can be of two types: intellectual and physical.

Self-improvement is the result of self-development. In the process of self-improvement, you improve or completely change any aspect of your life.

When you understand the concepts, it will be easier for you to work on yourself.

Tip three. Review your life in all spheres and areas. What did you achieve, what did you achieve, what goals did you fulfill and what desires did you fulfill.

Try to find yours weak sides. Make a plan of action, how you will work on yourself in what sequence and in what area.

Sample Analysis

Physical training. If you are overweight or feel that you are not attractive enough, maybe you should go in for sports, or sign up for a gym, or do exercises at home.
Health. your daily routine. How well do you eat. Having bad habits. Weakened immunity. Eliminate less healthy food from the diet, give up bad habits, strengthen the immune system.
your spiritual side. How often do you suffer from outbursts of anger, envy, depression and bad mood, stress. What annoys you and how often you lose your temper. Learn to relax, meditate, treat yourself and people easier. Set yourself up for a positive mood. Give up destructive emotions such as envy, anger, anger.
Your financial position. Are you satisfied with everything, how satisfied are you with your position at the moment. Maybe you should change something or acquire an additional profession or improve your skills.
Your relationship with others. Do you often have conflicts with others, do you know how to control your emotions, what kind of relationships in the family circle or personal life. Learn to communicate and talk, have a constructive conversation, look for compromises. Learn to work in a team.
Intellectual development. How attentive are you to the events around you and what is happening around you. How is the memory. Can you think broadly and see the problem from all angles? Develop creative thinking, set yourself goals and achieve them, plan your time.

You can also simplify this diagram a little and make a list of questions. Sample questions:

What do I not like about myself?
What does not suit my close people?
What do my colleagues not like about me?
What do I need to achieve?
What do I want to change?
How to do it?

There may be several answers to these questions, in order to choose the right approach write down all the answers and rank them in order of greatest importance to you. You can make a table with the name of the column: what does not suit you on the one hand, and solutions on the other. Or draw a circle, divide it into sectors and enter the answers to the questions there.

After you have analyzed your life, you can start self-development. To do this, you need to choose one of the most neglected or problem areas, set a goal and achieve it. If such a sphere is not found and all your areas of life are approximately on the same level, then you can start either from simple to complex, or, conversely, from complex to simple. In this way, you will gradually correct your shortcomings. To see what you're working on, write down your goal, and below it, options to achieve it.

Tip Four. There should always be a positive attitude in everything. You must believe that you will succeed. Don't stop there and move on to the next goal. Don't listen when someone tells you that you can't or won't be able to do something. Count only on your strengths and yourself as a whole. Here only you decide what to do.

Tip five. Don't be discouraged if something doesn't work out, look for a different approach, develop other techniques and start from the beginning. Don't give up. Failures are given in order to test your strength. They retreated, which means they failed and did not really want to go forward. As a result, you will get more difficult task, and will have to work twice as much. You pulled yourself together and did not give up, which means you want to move forward and develop.

Tip six. Read books, feel free to buy books that help in matters of self-development and self-improvement. Especially now there is a huge access to the Internet resources that are dedicated to improving your life and self-development in general and in certain areas that you can study, both for free and buy a full course.

Tip Seven. Write down your progress, for progressive work on yourself, you can specify the period in which given goal must be implemented or achieved. Set a real time interval so that after once again you do not get upset that you did not meet the allotted time.

Tip Eight. You should always have motivation and a ready-made clear answer for what you are doing self-development and self-improvement. First of all, you do it for yourself. If someone doubts your abilities and intentions, do not take their words seriously, these people simply cannot gather their strength and start working on themselves.

Tip nine. Be realistic, write realistic goals and realistic deadlines for completing the task.

Tip ten. Know how to control your emotions, sometimes it is better to remain silent than to flare up. Let go of the negative.

Tip Eleven. You can get yourself a notebook in which you will write down your goals and dreams. Also a separate notebook for writing down the goal and options for achieving it.

Always remember that it is never too late to develop yourself, and that the most important thing is the process of self-improvement is ongoing. When you have achieved some goals and realized that your development has become a little higher, climb further, look for new goals and objectives.

In self-development, planning your time can help you. If you don’t have time for a lot or don’t know what time to engage in self-development, then schedule your day. First, on the tasks that you perform and those tasks that need to be done. After that, pay attention to how much time it takes you to complete a particular task. To compile your time planner, write down on a piece of paper the tasks and the time period for each task. The next day, try to follow the plan that you have made for yourself. If it doesn’t work out, then you can either reduce the number of tasks, or reduce the time of some points, devoting more time to what you don’t have time to do.

1 What is self-improvement
2 Self-improvement: where to start the path to a new life
3 How to start self-development today
4 What books to start self-development with
5 tips for getting started

In our constantly changing world, the worst thing you can do is to stop in your development. Successful people stay successful only because they don't stop learning and growing. The path to balance and success always lies through self-improvement.

At any period of his life - in adolescence, in youth or maturity, a person thinks about where to start self-development. Let's figure out how to answer this question.

What is self-improvement

Ushakov's explanatory dictionary defines self-improvement as "the conscious development in oneself of some positive (predominantly moral) qualities, abilities, and skills."

Here the emphasis is on positive moral qualities, which determine the character of a person. These include:

responsibility;
humanism;
honesty and openness;
love to motherland;
loyalty;
spirituality;
intelligence;
goodwill;
tolerance;
diligence;
respect for another's personality;
politeness;
sincerity and empathy;
culture of behavior.

The list can be long, here it is individually determined what qualities a person wants to develop in himself.

Self-improvement: where to start the path to a new life

Personal growth- a necessary aspect, a change in personal potential for better interaction with the world and opening up prospects. From one point of view, it represents three types of human relationships: relationship with oneself, with the outside world and people, and self-development.

Relationship with oneself provides a person to know himself and understand the mechanisms of interaction with himself, to realize the strengths and weaknesses of his personality.

The relationship with the outside world will ensure the availability of connections necessary for development and self-realization.

Self-realization will raise self-esteem and change the attitude of the individual towards himself, help a person realize the goal for which he lives.

To achieve success on the path to self-improvement, you need to pump and develop in all three directions.

How to start self-development today

If you are thinking about self-improvement, do not put it off until later. As the saying goes, “later is a comforting form of the word “never”. Let's figure out how to do self-development today.

The first and most important thing is to start working today, and not put it off indefinitely. It may be a small step towards your goal, but doing something is better than doing nothing at all.

The second is not to try to be better than your girlfriend or boyfriend, neighbor or your idol. Compare yourself only to yourself. Your task is to be at least a little better every day than yesterday.

What is really important for a person (and not what he considers important) is achievable under any conditions. But sometimes, deep introspection is sometimes required to realize your real purpose.

The brain will reject false goals and will not implement them.

The most difficult thing is to define your goal and start your journey towards it today. Sketch in a notebook, jot down a few lines in a notebook, write a block of code, read a few pages of a book, etc. The next goal is not to quit. Over time, this goal will become part of your life, and achieving it will become a matter of technology.

What books to start self-development with

First, you should ask yourself the question “how to change your way of thinking in order to start changing”, and not the question “what books to start self-development with?”.

Books are treasure useful tips and psychological techniques (especially books written by professional psychologists and psychiatrists), but they are useless until your attitude changes.

There are no books that everyone should start with, because everyone has different goals: wealth, fame, recognition, job satisfaction, helping people. But some books that are effective for self-development are given below.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen Covey.
Buffettology - Mary Buffett.
"Where's my cheese? » — Spencer Johnson.
"Black Rhetoric" - Carsten Bredemeyer.
How to read, remember and never forget - Mark Tigelaar.
"Be the best version of yourself" - Dan Waldschmidt.
“You can agree on everything!” — Gavin Kennedy.
Get out of your comfort zone - Brian Tracy.
"1 page a day: a diary for creative people- Adam Kurtz.
Whole Life: Key Skills to Achieve Your Goals - Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen.
“This year I…: how to change habits, keep promises, or do what you have long dreamed of” - M. J. Ryan.
"Speed Reading: How to Remember More by Reading 8 Times Faster" - Peter Kamp.
"Here and Now" - Osho.
Tibetan Yoga of Sleep and Dreams - Tendzin Wangyal Rinpoche.
"The Sage and the Art of Living" - Antonio Meneghetti.
Shaman's Laughter - Vladimir Serkin.
"Goal: A process of continuous improvement" - G. Eliyahu.
"Supertraining" - Mike Mentzer.
"Body language" - A. Pease.
"Games People Play" - Eric Byrne
"Critique of Pure Reason" - I. Kant.
"Consolation of Philosophy" - Boethius.
"Strength of will. How to develop and strengthen - Kelly McGonigal.
"40 Studies in Psychology" - Roger Hawk.
"Essentialism" - Greg McKeon.

It is worth noting that all books should be taken with a healthy dose of criticism. Books that encourage a person to constantly smile and be joyful can eventually lead to clinical depression. It is human nature to be sad, upset and experience failure.

Harmful books for self-development teach you how to manipulate other people for your own purposes. The euphoria of everyday victory in any interaction with another person can become a dangerous barrier. Feeling of false importance can stop the process of development.

“Bad advice” that will help you sort through the information and understand where to start working on yourself.

First, in order to begin to change, it is necessary to determine which areas should be emphasized. An important method of controlling the process is introspection, which should be given at least a couple of hours daily. It disciplines and helps to understand your strengths and weaknesses.

If keeping a diary helps, feel free to get a notebook with a pen. Write down on a sheet those qualities that you would like to develop in yourself and those that you would like to get rid of, in two columns.

For each quality, come up with a description and outline a strategy for improving the skill. For example, I need to develop speed and agility, for this I need to run for an hour in the morning and evening. Or do I need to learn to remember more English words, for this I need to memorize 10 new phrases or expressions daily.

As for spiritual qualities, they certainly need to be improved continuously.

A useful habit will be the analysis of the past day. On a piece of paper, you need to write out all the situations that happened during the day and analyze your behavior in them. Did you manage to act according to your moral, spiritual principles. If it didn't work, then why? And what could be improved?

It is important not just to write down, but to sum up every evening: what you managed to do to develop your mental and physical qualities, and note for yourself what needs to be corrected.

When the goals are defined, it is worth drawing up a work plan. When there are clear deadlines, it will be easier to achieve your goals. No need to set cruel unattainable boundaries for yourself - for example, learn Chinese in 2 weeks. Agree that for the average person this is an unattainable goal. And the guilt you feel when you break a promise to yourself can take away all desire to move on.

Here again, introspection plays a big role. You can evaluate your strength in a test flight. If I can really reliably memorize 10 characters a day (for example, since we started talking about languages), then I set myself this goal. If five, then five daily. Exceeded the norm - wonderful. The main thing is to work out your planned plan every day. This needs to be done day after day to develop a habit. And the goal of “learn Chinese to beginner level in 5 years” will become much more realistic.

Gradually increase the difficulty level of the game. If at some point in time I realize that I can perform a greater load every day, spending the same effort, I will raise my daily bar. Lowering your goals and giving yourself slack is a bad idea. Successful people are distinguished by a strong will.

Set aside time for rest. Our nervous system, muscles, sense organs are not tuned to work 24/7, from a biological point of view, this is impossible. In order to fulfill the plan for tomorrow, rest is necessary. Daily full-fledged sleep (each determines individually the required amount of time) will allow you not to quit what you started. If daily plan self-development will be exhausting - the body will begin to sabotage, and even the most steely will will not save here.

Don't make too big a to-do list. To begin with, accustom yourself to 2-3 daily rituals. For example, from the list of mental qualities, choose the development of attention, physical - the development of strength, spiritual - honesty. And daily, perform necessary exercises. It will take a little time, but it will make it easier for you not to quit what you started. When such actions become a habit, add 1-2 more points and continue working.

Come up with a reward for yourself. Rigid frameworks and restrictions do not contribute to the daily repetition of the necessary actions. In the end, the body breaks down and breaks all the prohibitions and the feeling of guilt will return again. For the successes achieved, you can reward yourself with something interesting. Man is a highly organized animal, and all activity is based on conditioned reflexes. The “carrot and stick” method works for us too.

Every day ask yourself the question: what will happen if I continue to develop this or that quality and what will happen if I give it up? Life priorities are changing, and we must also quickly adapt to changing conditions.

Learn from the experience of your own, your friends and strangers. There are no two identical people, as well as two identical stories and ways to achieve goals. What makes one successful may be a failure for another. It is important to review, read, analyze and draw your own conclusions. There is no universal way of self-development - the point is to find your own.

Don't be afraid to miss deadlines. You should not abuse this rule, otherwise there will be no self-discipline. And where there is no discipline, there is no development. Constant stress from violating the established deadlines will gradually lead to a state of denial and apathy, which will lead to the abandonment of the development process.

The most difficult point is not to give up daily repetitions. Every day analyze the significance and benefits of the goals set, do not stop and always check the truth of your goals.