Friends, hello everyone! Now is the cold season, for some, a time of despondency, limited opportunities for recreation, bustle before the expected holidays and, as usual, a mountain of work. To enter the New Year full of strength, hope and self-confidence, to get rid of fatigue in the head, I propose to talk about how to learn to relax psychologically. Also, I will definitely share with you my methods of struggle and just good ways which you may have forgotten about.

I am sure that there simply does not exist such a person who has not at least once experienced fatigue from life (the exception is the kids who are waiting for Santa Claus and his gifts). At such moments, a person turns into an overflowing vessel, a desire appears. Here it is very important to make sure that the level in this vessel drops, and the splashes do not fall on people close to us, dear to us.

• stress hormones are released that poison the coordinated work of all systems;
• breathing becomes irregular, so there is an unstable supply of oxygen to all tissues and organs;
• blood circulation is disturbed, which leads to fluctuations in blood pressure;
• tension in the muscles of the body, and in particular the face and neck, leads to headaches and the appearance of a peculiar facial expression of a sick, exhausted person.

1. Quality and healthy sleep. This is the very first thing you can do for yourself on the way to a normal psychological state. Agree, if you do not sleep for a day, then no cinema, shopping, walks will bring relaxation. More recently, I have had trouble falling asleep due to an inconsistent schedule. The first thing I did was change the incandescent light bulb from cold to warm. Scientists have concluded that a weak yellow light in a night lamp gives the body a signal to "sunset" and prepares for rest. Second, I bought a special sleep mask. Now the light from the next room or the lantern outside the window does not bother me at all, and in the morning I feel ready for a new day.
2. Allow yourself to spend a certain percentage of your salary on entertainment that you enjoy. It can be a massage, a hike for a new thing, skating, a pool, a cafe. Yes, anything, for today in this world!
3. Do not ignore the calls of your friends, invite them to visit, come to them, spend time together over conversations and tea, modern board games (buy some Here).
4. Get yourself a four-legged friend (if, of course, there is a desire and opportunity). Imagine how fatigue and dissatisfaction will change in the evening after work to a surge of joy and honest emotions. Also very a good option aquarium fish, beauty and more. Moreover, there are fewer needs for daily care than for a mustachioed-tailed one.
5. Sit down for coloring. Here are some who argue that modern adult coloring pages are very detailed and even more annoying in the process. But if you haven't tried it, don't tell. The main thing is that the pencils are of various shades and are good in themselves. Have you noticed that in the summer we are more and more alive, cheerful and cheerful? It's all about the colors that are completely absent in winter.
6. Learn meditation, yoga, breathing practices, complete emptying of unnecessary thoughts from your head.
7. Aromatherapy. A couple of drops of lavender, saffron or your favorite oil in an aroma lamp have a very positive effect on the psychological state. Anyuta and I bought ourselves a special aroma oil diffuser. Cool contraption!
8. Do needlework, make some things with your own hands, master the origami technique, for example. Now on the Internet you can find absolutely any video lesson. Sit at home, watch, learn and enjoy the result.
9. Leave work within the walls of the office, if necessary, turn off the phone when you come home.

How to deal with negative emotions?

Always in moments of terrible tension, calm yourself with the following:

• no one can expect incredible results from me;
• I don't need anyone's approval;
• next time I will do even better, and then even better;
• even though here I cannot achieve a high result, but there are other areas of life where I have no equal;
• I am a self-sufficient person and I will cope with the obstacle, since it has arisen on my way.

Analyze the illogicality of your reasoning and their absolute incoherence with some specific events. Do not think about the bad, draw in your imagination and imagine that everything will work out for you in the best way. Besides, .

Everyone knows the proverb: “time for business, hour for fun”? So I urge you to find this hour for yourself, not to spare reasonable means for moral and physical rest. Remember that even in the most complex mechanism, it is always possible to replace a non-functioning part, but not in the human body.

Do you agree that no one will like an evil, unbalanced, psychologically exhausted person, will he be avoided in every possible way? Therefore, be a smile person and a great holiday in any team.

Video: how to relax and calm down?

There are only a few days left before the New Year. And Christmas is just around the corner. If you don't have gifts for your family and friends yet, hurry up and choose something for the most dear and beloved people in New Year's gift shop

Friends, if you find my article useful, please share it with your friends. Perhaps you will help someone at the right time. If you have your own secrets on how to learn to relax psychologically, please tell us about them in the comments below.

Have people ever told you that you are too stressed out? Have you ever felt like you can't relax even though everyone around you is having fun and fooling around? Would you like to sometimes understand what the joke is about? If yes, then it's time to put on sweatpants, put the anxiety away and learn to relax! If you want to know how to go from a nail-biting neurotic to a carefree girl who doesn't care about anything else but sunsets, then see Point 1 for a start.

Steps

Change your priorities

Accept the fact that you cannot control everything. One of the many reasons why people can't relax is because they try to control every situation. They try to predict exactly what will happen and when. They try to imagine when they achieve something, how their best friend/boss/parents will react to it, they believe they know what they need to do to achieve their goal. Unfortunately, life works differently. It is filled with surprises, both good and bad. If you want to relax, you have to learn to expect the unexpected.

• This needs to be done in small steps. One way is to start by learning to think about possible scenarios. Let's say you're waiting for a promotion. Instead of thinking about getting it, think about other scenarios and how you will react to them - maybe you will get a promotion soon or you will be told that you need to work better and harder to get it. No matter what happens, you will be less nervous if you are prepared for such an “unexpected” situation.
• There are things that you cannot prepare for in advance. Perhaps you and your friend are on their way to a romantic getaway and your car breaks down. Yes, this is bad, but sometimes you need to be able to laugh at things that you are not able to control.
• Stop being a microplanner. If you're obsessively planning every 15 minutes of your day, then you're guaranteed to be upset when things don't go your way.

1. Move away from unrealistic standards. This is another reason why you will not be able to relax. You may think that everyone will be good 24/7. You think that your teacher, friends, boss, or anyone else in your life can read your mind all the time. Perhaps you think the world will give you everything you deserve. Well then you will have to learn to recognize the imperfection of the world around you; if you want to determine how everyone around you behaves, then you should play SIMS.

   • Once you stop expecting people to behave the way you want, you will be pleasantly surprised when they exceed your expectations.
   • People are not perfect. Sometimes they will be rude, insensitive and not quite ready mentally. And that's okay. And here we are back to "letting go of control" - let go of your high expectations and you are guaranteed to relax.
   • It also means moving away from impossible standards for yourself. If you expect yourself to be a CEO/Oscar-winning star/best-selling author before you're 25, then you're bound to be stressed and frustrated when that doesn't happen.

2. . Don't be afraid to make mistakes. Constantly stressed people get nervous when something they planned doesn't go according to plan because of a small or big mistake they made. You must learn to take mistakes as lessons, and not beat yourself up for not doing something as well as you could. Mistakes are an integral part of our lives and life wouldn't be fun if we were all doing the tasks assigned to us like robots. If you make a mistake, think about what you learned from this experience and what you would do differently in the future, and how you will apply this knowledge.

   • People who can't relax are so fixated on their perfection that they feel like big losers if they make a mistake somewhere.

3. Learn to let things take their course. A person who does not know how to relax pays attention to all the little things that other people do wrong and to every little flaw in the character of the people around them. Sure, Kate got drunk at your birthday party, your lab partner didn't do some of his work, which is bad, but how much energy are you going to spend on your desire to change other people's behavior? The answer is not at all. Learn to take a deep breath and accept the fact that the world is full different people and move on.

   • If someone is really annoying and it drives you crazy, go to the washroom, take a breath and learn to ignore it. The worst thing you can do is tell everyone within a 25 mile radius how much you are annoyed by some person's behavior; talking about it will only make you look even more tense and ruin your mood.
   • Try to think on the merits of things. Will Bill's buffoonery or Mallory's big mouth annoy you 12 hours from now? If so, why not stop worrying about it now?

4. Be realistic, expecting something in certain situations. It will also help you relax a bit. Before you face life situation, imagine what possible scenarios could occur contrary to your expectations, and it will be easier for you to survive what happened. Let's say you throw yourself a birthday party. In the best case: everyone will come and it will be the coolest party ever, people will talk about it for years, etc. But most likely: some things will go wrong. Perhaps the people who were supposed to come will not be able to do this, some guests will find that five glasses of tequila is too much and will fall on your bookshelf and your nervous breakdown will look bad. The more options you have in your head, the more likely you are not to be so annoyed if something doesn't go the way you planned.

   • This is not to say that you should not think positively and expect the best. But if you're aware of your options, you'll make less noise and won't worry if something not so good happens.

5. Don't be too serious about yourself. This is another trait shared by people who don't know how to relax. You may have difficulty recognizing crisis situations, understanding when someone is just teasing you, or even being aware of your phobias, because you think that you are too serious, a busy person who cannot be distracted by things like your own. flaws. Make a list of your flaws and learn to laugh at them! It is better to understand your weaknesses yourself than to have someone point them out.

   • The key is not to be so sensitive. If you cry over every little thing that is said about you, the people around you will also not be able to relax. You don't want to be the person who keeps everyone from having a little fun, do you?

6. Look at everything from the side. Another way to learn how to relax is to understand where all these annoying people come from. So, Masha got drunk at your birthday party and tried to flirt with your lamp. It may be annoying, but don't forget that her boyfriend dumped her last week and she hasn't been herself ever since. Maybe Mark didn't do his part of the project on time, but don't forget that he is caring for his sick mother and is in a difficult situation. People are people and if you think about the reasons why they did not behave the way you would like, perhaps you would perceive their behavior with more understanding.

   • This does not mean that you can always find a reason to justify bad behavior. But more often than not, if you dig a little deeper, you will find an explanation for this. And that's how people who can't relax should live.

   We act

   1. Have fun without thinking. You can sometimes have fun and still consider yourself smart and serious. Go bowling. Play charades. Get drunk sometimes and giggle with your girlfriends. Try on funny costumes. Run along the beach. Do something that requires 0% of your brain activity. It's nice. Let all the worries and ambitions go away and live in the moment. By living one day and being frivolous, you will feel much happier and eventually relaxed.

      • Be spontaneous. You don't have to plan when to have fun. If you're hanging out with friends and don't feel like talking about your stocks on the stock exchange, then have fun!
      • Do something completely new. Take salsa lessons, go to a comedy show, or have some fun getting temporary tattoos on your friends' faces. If it's the act of a fifth grader, even better!

   2. Learn to accept jokes. This is the key to relaxation. If someone teases you, makes fun of you, or makes fun of a phrase you said, learn to laugh at it too - or at least return the same coin! If you can't take the jokes all the time, even if they're harmless, then you'll have a reputation for being a bore and there won't be a chance for others to have fun around you. Laugh at yourself, agree with the joke, and give it back. If the joke was really meant to offend you, then you have every right to be offended, but usually people are just trying to keep you a little on your toes and show that no one is perfect!

      Break the rules. This doesn't mean you have to break into someone's car or steal an iPod. This means that you must stop following the rules so strictly that when you see someone break them, you go crazy. This means that you yourself must break them a little, if you have such an opportunity. Skip school or work if it will help you achieve the desired result. Don't do every task head to head. Sometimes it's very nice to do something not the way everyone wants it from you in 100% of cases, but in your own way.

      • And if you're hanging out with friends who are acting a little irresponsible—drinking too much, speeding, or being rude at the car service window—then, of course, you're the right person to say, "Stop it, guys!", or you you can let them do it and make sure nothing bad happens.

   3. Take a break. Sometimes you need to take a break from work in order to really relax. If you feel like you're tense like a drum during work, school, or even while having fun with friends, then you need some time to cool down, go outside, look at pictures of funny cats, or do something that will help you feel better again. yourself okay. There is nothing wrong with taking a break during work, it does not indicate your weakness. If a break during work helps you relieve tension - go ahead!

      • If you're a Type A person, you think you can't take a half-hour break until the job is done, but to be realistic, after a half-hour break and rest, you might be able to do the job better and with more ease, and with much better results. results.

   4. Take a rest. The reason why you can't relax may be chronic fatigue that you don't even know about. If you rest and are full of energy and are positive for the whole day, then even the simplest test will not be able to upset you. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep daily and try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every night and every morning. Limit caffeine after dinner so you don't feel energized when it's time to go to bed. These small changes can make a big difference in how you see the world.

      • If you're really feeling exhausted in the middle of the day, don't underestimate the power of a small but productive 15-20 minute nap to reset your system.

   5. Get outside. Even if you just go outside for some fresh air or take a walk for at least 20 minutes every day, this will allow you to feel more relaxed, more peaceful, and in harmony with the world around you. Make sure you go outside at least 2-3 times a day, especially if you work from home or intend to spend most of your time indoors. You will be surprised how much more relaxed and calm you will be just being on the street, and how much less you will be annoyed by various kinds of troubles.

      Spend time with relaxed people. It is very important. If you want to really be relaxed and not be obsessed with your own perfection, you need to spend time with people who are a little more relaxed than you. They don't have to be guitar-playing hippies, but people who are less inhibited and pay less attention to the little details in life, and who can be unpredictable, leaning back in their chair if they feel like it. These people will rub against you and you will feel relaxed very soon.

      • And if you look at it the other way, if you associate with people who are even more obsessed than you are with good grades, perfect careers, etc., you are simply doomed to become even more tense than you are.

   6. Unload your life. While cleaning out the pantry or organizing your desk may not seem like a path to relaxation, you will find that if you feel more organized and in control, you will feel more relaxed. It may be very difficult for you to relax if you cannot find something in the closet, or because you are constantly losing important documents, or simply because your life is too busy. So, take some time (at least 30 minutes a day) and start organizing the space around you, you'll be surprised how much lighter you feel.

   7. Exercise. By exercising, you will release extra steam, your body will get a positive attitude, and also give you energy for the whole day. Set a goal to exercise every day for at least 30 minutes, whether running, biking, climbing, swimming, you will find that you will be able to burn off a lot of negative, pent-up energy. For a little laugh while you're burning calories, exercise with a friend.

      • If you're stressed all the time, you might feel like you don't have time for things like exercise. But if you adjust your daily routine a little, you will find that you can find the right time for the mind and body.

7. Look, you may need to radically change your life in order to relax. Perhaps your work sucks all your life energy out of you. Perhaps your three best friends are nervous moneybags who turned you into a nervous one for no reason. Perhaps you are trying too hard to do everything exactly the way your parents want and you feel that you have too little room for your desires. If changing your attitude to life and changing the little details doesn't work for you, stop and consider what other big life changes you need to make on the way to your happiness.

   • Make a list of everything that makes you feel unhappy and gives you stress. If you see that they all come from the same source and see some pattern, it might be time to make an important move. It may be scary to do this, but in the end, thanks to this, you will be happy!

Recognize that you are stressed. Obviously, a little stress is good for us - it brings interest, excitement and motivation to our life, brings it to the right balance. However, if when the level of stress in your life forces you to put up with things that hurt you and constantly worry you, you risk slipping into a state of severe stress. You are under a lot of stress if:

Set aside time for relaxation. Once you have acknowledged that stress is negatively affecting your life, it is very important to find time to relax in the midst of constant work. Here is what will help you bring rest and relaxation back into your life:

• Get rid of guilt. Influenced by many religious beliefs and cultural beliefs, we often overestimate the value of hard work. With the passage of time and with the advent of smart technologies that keep us on alert around the clock, many of us have come to the conclusion that being constantly busy is the only way prove your worth. Misinterpreting the concept of "hard work" can completely exhaust you. The hard work is giving your tasks the attention they deserve at the right time, not letting them fill your day!
• Accept the fact that sleep is a very important part of life. While you sleep, your brain continues to learn in ways that are not possible when you are awake. Sleep restores your body in many ways that waking hours can't. Don't be tempted to underestimate it. It is claimed that some people feel great after 4 hours of sleep, but this is the exception rather than the rule - most of us need 6-8 hours of sleep to fully recover. Dreaming is a very important part of the sleep process, allowing you to explore the furthest corners of your fantasy.
• Set aside time for relaxation during your day. Think of it like meeting your most important client - yourself! - which you can not miss or transfer in any way.
• If you're at home, mark this time on your calendar in black ink for everyone to see. So your whole family will understand how important it is to give you time to relax.
• Understand that you may not immediately find the best way to relax; you will proceed by trial and error Don't give up: keep looking until you find the right combination of activities that allow you to relax and restore your enthusiasm and desire to live life to the fullest.

Relax your body

1. Practice breathing techniques. Slow down your breath and actively concentrate on it. This is usually the most easy way calm down.

   • Breathe in your belly. Put your hands on your stomach and while inhaling, try to push them with your stomach away from you, and on the exhale, on the contrary, bring them closer to you.
   • Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
   • Inhale to a count of five, hold your breath for five seconds, and then slowly exhale to a count of five. Do this ten times to relax your muscles and nerves. As you exhale, imagine stress and tension leaving your body with the air.

2. Stick to a healthy diet. Proper nutrition will help your body feel balanced and healthy by making you less susceptible to blood sugar spikes and feelings of anxiety. Practice moderation in the following areas:

   • Avoid excessive consumption of refined sugar, found in bars, cookies, and sodas. Carbohydrates found in pasta, for example, are easily converted into sugar. This can cause your blood sugar levels to spike and plummet, impairing your body's ability to use energy efficiently and causing you to feel anxious.
   • Do not abuse caffeine. Large amounts of caffeine can make you nervous and irritable. Try not to consume caffeine after 13:00 or 14:00 and do not increase your morning dose. If you need more coffee than you should, switch to decaffeinated coffee or herbal tea with little or no caffeine.
   • Drink water. Drinking a cup of water at a time will energize your body and give your brain a chance to rest and then look at a stressful situation with fresh eyes.
   • Eat fresh fruits, vegetables, and whole grains that don't have refined sugar: apples, grapes, carrots, broccoli, brown rice, or whole grain bread.
   • Eat plenty of low-calorie proteins such as chicken, fish, grains, legumes, dark leafy vegetables, or low-fat dairy products. These proteins are best source energy.
   • Take multivitamins. Some vitamins relieve stress. Vitamins B and D are especially good for relaxation.

3. Do exercise every day. This is the best-known, scientifically proven method for significantly reducing stress. You will be surprised how much easier it is to deal with stress when you exercise regularly. Here are a few ideas to try:

   • Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate activity a day.
   • Walk in the park, in the woods, or run on a treadmill.
   • Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
   • Park away from the store so you can walk to it
   • Take up swimming. Try going to a swimming pool or a nearby lake. You don't have to be a first-class swimmer - you just need to be able to float.
   • Do stretching. Drop your shoulders to relax. Tension usually accumulates in the shoulders and neck.

Relax your mind

1. Practice positive thinking. positive thinking is not to dream and have your head in the clouds. It aims to make the best of the situation and stop escalating in anticipation of the worst.

   Think logically and restrain your emotions. If you think more consistently and logically in a stressful situation, you may find that solutions become more obvious.

   • Look objectively at the stressors. Take a realistic look at what annoys you and imagine what advice you would give your friend in that situation. Then follow your advice.
   • Change the way you act. If the problem is in what you do, change the way you do it or react. Stop and listen to those around you to figure out what you understand or do wrong and correct your actions.

2. When you're feeling overwhelmed, find a quiet place and pamper yourself.

   • Take a warm bath. If desired, light candles around the bath, dim the lights, add foam or lavender.
   • Lie down on the bed or on the couch. Turn on some light music or nature sounds. Relax while listening to the waves of the ocean, a waterfall or birdsong.
   • Read good book. Curl up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of chamomile tea.
   • Imagine your own personal paradise. Close your eyes and imagine a different environment. What do you see around you? Is there a wind? What do you hear - birds or water? Imagine the soothing sound of ocean waves. Enjoy the moment in a special place for you.
   • At work, even a bathroom stall can serve as a quiet place to take a break if you have nowhere else to go.

3. Stop feeling guilty. Guilt is a potential source of stress. Get Rid of Guilt: Stop doing things that make you feel guilty. If necessary, contact professional help but don't let destructive behavior get worse and ruin your life and health.

   Learn to prioritize. Make a to-do list for the day. Organize the list by importance and be proactive, that is, deal with issues before they become problems. More productive time means more leisure time.

   • Work! It may seem like it defeats your purpose of relaxing, but procrastination doesn't feel as good as getting things done. Complete your tasks now, and then you can really relax.

4. Practice meditation. Get rid of all thoughts and emotions by focusing only on your breathing. Meditation as a form of relaxation helps you focus on your being and not on any one part of your body like other relaxation techniques. Mastering this technique may take some time, but the effort is worth the reward.

   Think self-hypnosis. Focus on something, take a deep breath and try to enter a hypnotic state. If self-hypnosis is not working for you, contact a professional hypnotist. Don't let amateurs hypnotize you and beware of subliminal messages.

   Engage in activities or hobbies that help you relax. Take a break from things that usually cause you stress. Perhaps you just need to take a break.

   • Go fishing, sew, sing, draw or take pictures.
   • Try to sing the song using numbers instead of words. Singing can help you relieve stress quickly.
   • Use music as relaxation therapy. Turn it on as loudly or as quietly as you need to calm down.

5. Spend time with your pet. Play with your pet or caress it. He will love it and so will you. Tell him about the stress and worries that are bothering you and you will feel much better. Animal therapy is one of the most effective ways to relax. You can also learn a lot from watching your pet relax (note: animals don't suffer from guilt!).

   Smile and laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. Watch a funny movie. This is guaranteed to help. Smiling and laughing releases endorphins that fight stress, help you relax, and remind you that life is more than just work. Learn to smile more often, even if you feel weird at first.

Remain calm among those who cause you stress

Sometimes negativity and unrealistic expectations from other people can undermine your resolve to make relaxation an important part of your life. Don't let this happen. Instead, take note of the following suggestions to help you stay calm among those who are tense.

1. Create an invisible shield between you and tense people. This is a real visualization technique: imagine that you are in a cocoon that protects you from negative vibrations from people who are under stress. Look at their behavior and attitude towards themselves, notice what stress does to them, but don't let it seep through your shield.

   • Do not carry the weight of the world on your shoulders - these people have chosen this behavior themselves, and you should not follow them.
   • Detaching someone else's stress can seem difficult at first, especially if you're an empath, but keep going until the ability to not give in to someone else's negativity becomes second nature.

2. Learn to disconnect. Put down the phone, close the folder Email, go away. If you want to respond to a person under the influence of anger, which he caused in you, do not do it. When we are angry and stressed, we tend to interpret everything negatively, and if we follow the lead of anger, we can cause a response outburst of anger. Learn to wait.

   • Write a draft of your answer and let it lie down for a day. If after 24 hours everything that is written in it seems to you still correct, send it. If not, you'll be thankful you didn't send it right away.
   • Leave and calm down. Instead of acting in anger, withdraw temporarily until you can reason and act calmly.

3. Avoid toxic people. Spend less time with people who try to make you feel guilty or that you're not good enough. Yes, even if it's your family.

   • Stay away from people who constantly complain and are unhappy. Stress can be contagious, so avoid carriers of it. Realize that there is always a solution to a problem, even if those people don't see it or don't want to see it.
4. that radiate heat. Associating with positive and cheerful people gives you strength and helps you feel calm and happy.

• When you eliminate sugar from your diet, you may feel deficient. Be strong. After a couple of days, the sugar craving will subside and you will feel calmer. Also try adding cinnamon to your food. It will help curb your desire to eat sweets.
• Read a book or article that makes you think. Read about a person you find inspiring. Inspiring thoughts will help you perceive life more positively and give you more energy.
• Before going to bed, do not start activities that require a lot of effort or energy. Too much tension before bed will prevent you from relaxing and sleeping properly, which can lead to sleep disturbance and increase stress.
• Breathe deeply and slowly to release energy and relax.
• Download several relaxation e-books. Use guided breathing, muscle contraction and relaxation, affirmations, and visualization to help you relax completely.
• Listen to relaxing music to calm down and not think about anything.
• You don't have to train like a bodybuilder or a celebrity. Choose exercises that you will like and want to do, and not try to do it with all your might. If you like only walking from outdoor activities, walking for 20 minutes a day will be enough.
• Tidy up your home. It is very difficult to relax in a house where you constantly stumble upon rubbish.
• Relax with water. Put a small fountain in your bedroom or garden. Walk along the beach or along the lake. The sounds of water can be very soothing.
• Relax while taking a bath.
• Sometimes put yourself first. We often think about other people's problems and from this we are more and more nervous every day.

Warnings

• Talk to your doctor if stress is causing serious symptoms such as headaches, decreased appetite, or general fatigue.
• Thousands of people, without realizing it, become addicted to drugs and alcohol during a period of severe stress. Resist that this does not happen to you. One of the hardest parts of dealing with stress is becoming aware of it and avoiding the temptations that help you forget about it but don't get rid of it.

Good afternoon. Having mastered the step how to learn to relax, you will learn the most effective relaxation techniques. This step, like each of the steps within the framework, will be broken down into theory and practice.

After you get acquainted with the theory, you will be able to practice and for seven days, every day, learn different ways of relaxing. You go through the practice on your own, just by reading my course and following the recommendations from it.

If you have finished running practical advice given in the previous steps, you will hopefully get an idea of ​​developing willpower and mindfulness. These skills will greatly help you during this step. And if you started studying my self-development plan from this step, then it's okay, finish it, and then proceed to the previous ones, if you wish.

As a theoretical basis for this step, I will give the main conclusions from all the articles on relaxation that are presented on my blog. So you can think of this step as a standalone article, summarizing all the others, and it will summarize all the information that will help you learn to relax.

The ability to relax on your own is an important skill.

In our busy lives, the ability to relax on your own is a strategically important skill. But, unfortunately, not everyone has this skill and therefore they resort to the help of alcohol and all sorts of sedatives, and without this they cannot relieve tension. These people are convinced that the stressful environment around them is to blame, and that, under such circumstances, it is impossible to relax without aids. But it's not. The amount of stress received per day depends not only on the external environment, but also on your sensitivity to stress, the ability to maintain a relaxed internal state among external fuss. Therefore, it is important not only to be able to relax during the holidays, but also to be calm during the day, letting in as little stress and negativity as possible. And the less tension we get, the easier it will be for us to relax later.

Many people forget about this and, having tried several relaxation techniques, they do not succeed, because the tension is too great. Therefore, here we will learn not only relaxation techniques, but also how to maintain a relaxed state throughout the day.

If you get used to relaxing with alcohol, then the body gradually loses its ability to withstand stress. This happens, firstly, due to the fact that alcohol destroys nervous system and, secondly, because once you become accustomed to doping, an easy and quick remedy, you lose the ability to bring yourself to a calm state, and when you do not drink, your level of anxiety rises.

It is important to be able to suppress the nervousness in yourself and extinguish the accumulated tension. A tense and nervous person is like a car moving at high speed, which is very difficult to control: one careless effort directed at the steering wheel, and the car begins to move from side to side, losing balance. When you are nervous, it is difficult for you to control yourself and everything goes completely different from what you yourself want: you go astray, make unnecessary movements, speak very quickly, stumble. In general, you in every possible way "brings" on the corners.

A relaxed person drives at a reasonable speed, which allows him to maneuver deftly around obstacles without missing a single traffic light or warning. When you are relaxed, everything works out better for you, the way you want it to be. In addition, a relaxed body, like a slow car, consumes much less energy than a body that is in constant tension. And if you are relaxed all day, then the rest of your strength and good mood remain in your evening.

“The slower you go, the further you will be,” says folk wisdom. The less stressed and the more relaxed you are, the less you get sick and, accordingly, live longer, since many diseases are associated with the state of the nervous system.

How to achieve such relaxation? The following articles will help you with this. You can familiarize yourself with them or read the conclusions from them, which I will give below. The conclusions will concern only theory, we will deal with practice in the next part of this step. If you are eager to learn about the basic relaxation techniques, go straight to practice, it is presented below in the article, especially since I outlined the main theoretical conclusions in this step.

Theory

Optional

In the event that the reason why you cannot relax is a constant nervous rush, impulsivity, constantly distracted attention, difficulty in sitting in one place for a long time, then I recommend reading this article.

If you are nervous a lot, then I advise you to read this article, as nervousness creates tension.

Conclusions from the theory

• Stress is your internal reaction to what is happening. And how strong this reaction is depends on you.
• Nervousness, inability to relax only interfere in life.
• Stress and fatigue are easier to prevent than prevent!
• The fact that you can’t relax without alcohol and other drugs is a lie.
• Alcohol is one of the most harmful and dangerous drugs. It has a devastating effect on the body. This is far from the most suitable means of relaxation.

Practice. Learn relaxation techniques.

Practice, as usual, will be broken down into days and should be done gradually. Every few days we will master one of the relaxation techniques. In addition, tips for every day will be given to help you relax as the day progresses. The purpose of the practice is to try various relaxation techniques and make sure that our body can relax on its own, you just need to set yourself up correctly. The program is designed to help you gradually learn to relax, its schedule will help you control yourself, following the plan I have established. This is much more effective than doing it haphazardly.

But if you do not want to follow the plan, then from here you can draw a lot useful information about ways to relax. But still, I recommend that you experiment on yourself and work on a schedule, this will also help you live an unusual week for you and add variety to your life.

For the duration of the practice of this step (7 days), completely eliminate the use of alcohol. If you smoke, then reduce the number of cigarettes you smoke daily by at least 1.5 times, and even better, by 2.

Day 1-3. Mastering diaphragmatic breathing

Let's start with a very effective relaxation technique. This breathing occurs by raising and lowering the diaphragm, the internal organ that separates the upper torso from the lower. Unlike chest breathing, when you breathe from your diaphragm, your belly moves up and down, not your chest. This breathing allows you to effectively oxygenate your tissues, it provokes a faster release of toxins and helps you relax.

When you are tense, you breathe through your chest at a fast pace, but to relax you need to take deep and slow rhythmic inhalations and exhalations (perhaps this is the reason why the smoker relaxes, inhaling and exhaling smoke - it's all about breathing.).

How to learn diaphragmatic breathing? Very simple. Sit or lie down. The back is straight, look ahead. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach. Breathe. If you are using diaphragmatic breathing, your chest should rest in place and your belly should rise and fall. In this case, it is not necessary to protrude and compress the stomach by force through muscular effort: the tension of the abdominal cavity should occur due to air, expands the lungs, lowering the diaphragm. The abdominal muscles should be relaxed.

Take as deep a breath as possible and exhale, the duration of which should be equal to each other. You can look at a stopwatch or measure these time intervals by heart beats. Breath holding between inhalation and exhalation is not necessary. Do not be distracted by extraneous thoughts: relaxation also occurs due to the fact that you fix all your attention on breathing.

At first, diaphragmatic breathing may not work, but everything comes with practice. Do this exercise for 3-5 minutes. 2-3 times a day, but not immediately after meals. After doing the exercise, pay attention to your well-being, you feel calmer, don't you? You can breathe like this before an important meeting, in a traffic jam, at work (or after it), when you need to put your head and nerves in order and relax.

A more difficult version of the exercise is breathing with a compressed glottis. You need to strain your throat in a special way so that the air enters and leaves you through a narrow gap, then when you inhale and exhale, such a sound “xxxxxxx” appears. Thus, the difference in pressure between the air outside and the air inside increases, and the oxygen that the stomach is filled with begins to put more pressure on its walls. So there is a more effective massage of internal organs and saturation of tissues with oxygen. Such breathing is used in yoga. You can try after you master the basic skills of diaphragmatic breathing.

Additional exercises

From this day on, every day try to take breaks from work (3-4 times a day for 10 minutes). During breaks, walk around and move around if you have a sedentary job (in general, do something completely different from your job). If possible, it is better to go outside and breathe. Think of something else. During the break, you can not look at the monitor. Accustom yourself to breaks in work, try to do this always, in the future, and not just for the duration of the practice from this step.

Train yourself to never rush, even if you are late. Enter this as a rule for yourself. Hurry has a very bad effect on your nervous state of health and is very tiring. When you're in a hurry, you don't actually get there much faster than if you're slow. You may even lose out due to the loss of concentration and composure as a result of being in a hurry.

On one of those three days, take a long walk alone. During it, try to clear your mind of thoughts about the current day, think about something abstract. Look around more, pay attention to what is happening around and do not lock yourself in thoughts about yourself and your experiences. As soon as you catch yourself on the fact that your mind begins to fumble in thinking about today's problems, calmly stop it. Discipline your thinking, it will help you a lot in life.

And, I hope you have not forgotten about meditation? If you have not read the previous steps, then study along with this step and add meditation to your daily practice.

Day 4. Yoga relaxation technique

On the fourth day, after reading these materials, try another relaxation technique while continuing to practice diaphragmatic breathing 2-3 times a day.

In the evening, lie down on the bed (or on the rug, "foam", on the floor), on your back. Turn your hands palms up, slightly spread them so that the angle between the arm and the body is thirty degrees. Close your eyes, no extraneous sounds should distract you. If you want to relax with music, then it should be very smooth music for relaxation (ambient, calm ethnic music). Start to slowly stop attention in turn on each part of the body from the crown to the toes and relax it: crown, eyebrows, mouth, throat, shoulder, left arm: humerus, elbow, forearm, wrist, palm, fingers (you can stop on each separately ) again palm, forearm, elbow, humerus, shoulders, right arm: humerus ... And so on we reach the toes. Then we try to relax the whole body.

Watch your thoughts as an outside observer, they should not carry you away. If attention floats, gently bring it back. No need to try at all costs to stop thoughts and experiences, your goal is to relax. Just like in meditation. The more you force yourself to relax and not think about anything, the worse you will get it. Your will must rest, it must not be directed towards relaxation. In this state, you have no will, no desires, no intentions... You just quietly observe.

Spend in this position from five to twenty minutes, as long as you need. Get out of it smoothly: continuing to lie down and without opening your eyes, move your toes, then your fingers. Slowly roll onto your side and, helping yourself with your hands, sit down (this is in order not to make sharp muscle efforts). Open your eyes. Evaluate your condition, compare it with the one that was before the practice. Now you feel much more relaxed.

This exercise is also used in yoga to achieve complete relaxation after physical activity. Its principle is that relaxation of the body entails peace of mind.

Now you know how to do it, and from this day on, use this practice every time you need to relax. You can sometimes replace them with meditation.

Day 5: Go for a light jog

Take a short jog that evening. What everyone can do. You must be a little tired. Assess your condition after physical activity. You should feel a pleasant tiredness in your body. At the same time, nervous fatigue should disappear, and your mood and general well-being should be better than before. I do not just advise you to evaluate your condition every time. It is essential that the connection between meditation, exercise, relaxation techniques and well-being is established in your brain.

When you want to drink alcohol or smoke, you are drawn not to a bottle and a cigarette, as such, but to those states (relaxation, satisfaction, calmness, good mood) that you achieve with these things. Having a formed connection in your head between a feeling of pleasure (or lack of pleasure) and certain drugs is one of the factors of addiction. The purpose of this step is to make sure that you associate pleasure and relaxation with something useful, and not with destructive drugs for the body. And awareness of the effect of relaxation techniques, assessment of your condition, help to better fix the necessary connections in your brain.

So it will be easier for you to do all this, you will want to do it, as there will be a desire to feel better.

Day 6. Relax with music

In the evening or afternoon, listen to an album or collection of some relaxing music. At the same time, you should not do anything, but only listen. For many, quiet listening to music is quite challenging task, as they are used to listening to music "in the background" (while they are driving in the car, they are doing work). And in the absence of other external stimuli, this process will seem very boring to them, they will want to interrupt it or do something in parallel. You must ignore this desire. We listen for 40 minutes - an hour, before that we do not get up. Relax. But remember that we should not force ourselves to go into relaxation and worry about the fact that we can’t do it. Everything happens by itself.

Day 7. Final exercises

On your last day of practice, take an hour-long walk or jog that you can handle. Spend a mental summary of the last week lived. Ask yourself what did you learn new? What have you learned? Have you been able to somehow relax on your own? You should not expect significant progress in just a week, but in any case, you should feel the acquisition of at least some relaxation skills and feel the effect of the techniques described in this step.

Results

The purpose of this step was not just to enumerate the various relaxation techniques. You should have tried doing them yourself, in order to make sure that self-relaxation is possible without auxiliary drugs. And most importantly, that this awareness is fixed within the patterns of your thinking. The purpose of this step is to teach by example, not just to provide information about what relaxation techniques are.

I hope you have learned from your own experience that there are many effective, healthy ways to relax. And I hope even more that you will continue to implement this new knowledge in your life and not stop with the completion of the practice. Good luck to you! Wait for the release of new steps.